Triggering (SI) - I cut last night

[Almost_forgotten]

I cut last night quite deep. Again. and after I felt so guilty like I'd robbed a bank or something. But why? My mum doesnt even know Im s/h again nor does anyone else. But I remember how bad they made me feel about it before, so I felt like that after.
But today I just thought I just don't care what they think anymore. They're not really there anymore anyway. I do this to hurt myself to cope with the pain, so whats wrong with doing it? NOthing. As far as I can see thats why its called SELF harm its for me nobody else. So I'm just gonna keep on doing it cus it helps cope with all the other pain inside, and I deserve it anyway
But then my friend has started doing it again and I really dont want her to hurt herself yet I do it. But I deserve it. She doesn't. I dont know its just fucked up

[YodaBearInterrupted]

*HUGGLES*

Did you get the cut dressed at all? I am sorry to hear about your friend. I hope both of you can find some help. You could try writing some stuff down in a journal... as it can sometimes help you get out your feelings of pain and suffering out of your mind and onto paper. You don't deserve it hun, its just the only way for you to express how you feel right now. Is there anyone you could talk to about this at all?

Matt

[Almost_forgotten]

No there isnt anybody I dont trust people easily but I feel like all my family has given up on me anyway. They dont know how bad Ive been feeling and its just been going on so long they've given up on me.
~Laura~