Triggering (Abuse) - Relationship Breakdown

[nellasfelagund]

Me and my elder sister have never really got on but things really have reached breakdown the past couple of days.

My sister has had problems of her own after recently walking out of a job (which i wouldn;t have advised as the best thing to do)

Then a couple of weeks ago she and a bloke she was dating for a while broke up and now she blames her problems on me. She is jealous of my boyfriend and last sunday she kicked of at the dinner table and got aggressive towards me for not the first time.

It really reached breaking point with her tipping water over me then attacking me in the living room.

I walked out and stayed at my boyfriend for a couple of days, then went home a few days later. My mum is trying to get me into the YMCA but i dont know how long the wait could be.....

I really have had enough of this now. I have been abused by her before and it really is reaching breaking point

Please give me some advise on how to cope as I am scared as my sister has a tendancy to kick of at any time :(

[pea soup]

wow....
im sorry this is happening to you.
i would just try and stay as far away from her as possible. i know that will be hard as you live together.
maybe ask your mother to help you or something.
im really not sure. thats a tough situation sweetie.
please try and stay safe.
much love and safety.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nellasfelagund]

Thanks for replying :) :)

I do try and keep away but believe me it is hard.

I really wish she would help herself but she wont.

:(

[blondiebear]

I have family members who won't help themselves either. I just have had to stop spending time with them or even talking to them.

Since your sister is the one attacking you and she is older, should your mother not kick her out? If the violence is that bad would it be appropriate to phone the police? I don't imagine that you want to add to your sister's problems but if she is that violent and irrational she sounds like she is a real physical threat to you and to your mother.

Please take care of yourself and stay safe!
Hugs

[nellasfelagund]

Ive told my mum and dad this but they wont kick her our cause she'll no where to live.

[blondiebear]

so can't they get her a place at the ymca?

[nellasfelagund]

thats what ive told them but ive alreadi applied for a place

[chocostashchick]

eep that's tough
i'm so sorry - your family your home is supposed to always be somewhere you feel safe and yours isn't always physically safe and i am sorry for that hun
if her violent outbursts are really random and sudden, i would say that you ought to just stay away from her as much as possible, and communicate with her only when there are other people around or via phone or computer or something
if there are signs, though, like certain things or subjects that set her off especially badly, you could just avoid them or if one of them comes up end the convo and leave asap
would your parents and/or sister be willing to try couples therapy? is this something that you could talk to your sister about, in therapy or just in general? if your relationship with her is really strained could your parents talk to her about it?
as blondiebear said, it sounds like she is a real physical threat, so try not to be alone and if necessary the police are there to protect you because this is domestic violence and it sounds like you truly are being abused
be safe hun
xxxooo

[nellasfelagund]

i'll try this for the time being, i mean 2day she got agressive about the neighbours