Well here I am.....

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 06:16 AM

I found this site by pure accident whilst typing "I want to die" as a google search. let me introduce myself:

My name is Dean and i'm a 34 year old divorcee and father of three. I was diagnosed with PTSD and clinical depression about 8 months ago and since that day my world has fallen apart. i'm now homeless, drinking and self harming to cope with the shambles that my life has become. I have attempted suicide 3 times now the last two were planned, yet because of outside distraction it didnt happen. i cant sleep, i'm heartbroken, i cant work nor go out. please help!

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 06:42 AM

Hello

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 06:45 AM

Hello

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 06:49 AM

I used to live near London. How is it now?
Im a mum so I understand why you hurt about being divorced.
I attempted before once.
If you wanna talk, Ill listen.

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 06:52 AM

Still a dump lol.I miss my kids sooooo much. I have two with my ex wife and one with my now ex partner after she dumped for another bloke because she couldnt understand my problems.

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 06:54 AM

I miss it there. I loved the rain. Gah that stinks! I would hate to never see my son. How old are your kids?

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 06:56 AM

my eldest daughter is 8 my son 3 and my baby girl is only 15 months.

crazykat · 16-02-2008, 06:58 AM

Hello
Welcome to RYL
Please PM me if you ever need anything or just wanna chat
Hope to see you around
Take care
Kat xxx

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 06:59 AM

Awe! Man I cant imagine my lil one so big yet.

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:02 AM

yeah its fun watching them grow though. and thanks krazykat.

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 07:12 AM

anyways back to subject...
is there anything i can do to make you feel a little more welcome?

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:17 AM

ummm i dunno, this kinda site is new for me and you're young enough to be me daughter lol

I suppose because I feel ashamed of who ive become that I still find it difficult dealing with everything.

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 07:20 AM

I new to the site too. I just joined today also.
And I can relate. Getting your confidence back after getting free of self harming is really hard.
But if there is anything I can do to help, make things easier, or if you just wanna talk. Im always here! XD

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:25 AM

Thanks Hun that means alot xxxx today was a good day, the night has been hard (hence me being here lol) I wish sleep would come.

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 07:29 AM

I understand. Its late here and Im waiting for sleep also. But Ill be awoken soon-if i was sleeping- to fed my lil one. So I dont see the point of tryin

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 07:31 AM

wanna talk about what happened last night?

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:33 AM

Well perhaps I can extend my hand to you. Both my ex wife and ex partner have suffered severe PND and tbh Ive seen it first hand. so if ever you need to talk PM or email me. XX

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:35 AM

Its stupid really. you see sunday just gone was when i last hurt myself. and last night i felt the same. i cant stop thinking about her and this guy.

lilmum · 16-02-2008, 07:38 AM

she broke it off for this guy?

D-Manic · 16-02-2008, 07:43 AM

I dont know. She met him on a girls night out about two weeks ago. And told me to leave the next day. Since then shes been saying some really nasty hurtful things, but then also ringing me everyday and asking to see me.....so Im kinda messed up. Ive met the guy and hes nothing special just her age I suppose, you see shes only 23. I think her PND and my illness were more to blame.