Guys I don't know what to do. I came off one of my meds (citalopram) last week and my head is going even crazier, if that's possible.
Every hour or so I want to kill myself. I become completely helpless and dark. I'm writing this quickly because I'm going to get dark again soon. My head is zapping all over the place, and I'm having auditory hallucinations and all kinds of problems with my body getting really hot, my muscles hurting, spontaneous crying... AGGGHHHH!
I don't know what I want from you, but has anyone else had this and how in hell do you make it somewhat manageable till it goes away???
Everyone I know is tired of my whining because something's ALWAYS wrong with me recently. That just makes me feel even more isolated and I'm so ****ing scared that I'll do something stupid this time. I want to be with friends but I don't want to burden anyone with this **** anymore.
I want to cut so at least for a second I'm not this terrible person. Sorry to be sitting here ranting, but here at least I feel like I'm talking to someone instead of sitting on my couch alone and listening to the air making electrical noises in my ears.
Sorry.
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
Hey, I think you need to get emergency help for this. You need to let your doctor know about what you are going through. So consider scheduling an emergency appointment sometime in the near future. In the meantime, if you don't want to deal with your doctor tonight, maybe call a suicide hotline or something of that sort. Or take a bath, watch TV, or do something to relax and distract yourself. Just try to remember that these symptoms are only being caused by the chemicals in your brain acting up, it's not permament so just try to make it through this without doing any serious harm to yourself. *hugs*
Laura
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa
Please see your doctor or go to the emergency room or call an ambulance. Immediately I think. Your friends won't think you are whining. This is really a medical emergency.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I'm usually fine in the morning, then by the afternoon I get depressed, then suicidal in the evening. Oy. I've been taking sleeping pills so I can go to bed early and avoid it but I think it might be time for another solution. This sucks. If any of you ever come off your meds, I truly empathize.
Thanks for the support. If you don't mind, I'm going to keep writing here if I start getting dangerous.
xoxoxo
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I took Xanex and a bit of wine, plus my other meds, but I doubt that's too big of a deal. I just need to sleep ASAP before this gets worse. What I still don't understand is why this gets steadily worse all day. I tried so hard this afternoon to convince myself that nothing was really going on, that I was blowing it all out of proportion. But it still happened. How the hell to do you explain to someone who cares about you, who already worries about you and tries so hard to wait out your moods, that there is yet one more thing wrong? I just don't want to lose my mentor, or be thrown into the hospital. Oops I'm going stream of conscience already.
Things around me are so bleak, though somewhere in the back of my head I remember that many of these feelings will be gone someday.
Still breathing.
Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae.
Lambchop, LadyMacbeth, Butterfly525, and Moonchild are my sisters. Ruffle is my daughter. That Faery Kid is my kitty!
Aw hun, I know how you feel, and I know what it feels like to feel like a burden on your friends, I feel the same.
Hold onto the fact that someday things will be better, I know at times that can feel so far away or impossible, but it will happen.
Take care hun, and please keep writing if things dont get better, thats what we are here for.
Im always around if you want to talk
Love Lora xx
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst
