Are you BORN gay? Or do you BECOME gay due to life events?
Is there even such thing as being TOTALLY gay?
Or do you just fall in love with someone regardless of Gender?
Do people who 'come out' just stick to what they're used to/what's expected of them?
Or even convince themselves they're gay because they've had such a hard time 'coming out'
I have huge issues with my sexuality & it annoys me SO much that people assume I'm gay because I've been sexually abused by someone of the opposite sex...But I wouldn't say I was born gay. How can you be gay when you're not even aware that sex exists, let alone gay sex.
When I was kid I used to write... I <3 John/whoever on my pencil case but of course I didn't really love them.
The first person I fell in love with was a girl & I'm in love with my current girlfriend but I haven't completely ruled guys.
Interesting debate ;]
I'm very unsure on this topic myself.
I think some people may be born with a pre-disposition to being gay, and some people become gay due to life events.
I don't think there's really an answer to the nature/nurture thing when homosexuality is involved.
I think there's absolutely such thing as being 100% gay, as do I think there is such a thing as being 100% straight, but there's a whole spectrum in between.
I've had trouble with the 'coming out' scenario.
I came out as gay when I was 15, due to the fact I was in love with/dating a girl and had never felt sexually interested in boys.
However, over the past year or so i've been debating my sexuality.
I think if I hadn't come out I wouldn't have such a hard time with this.
Everyone knows me as gay, I know myself as gay, so if I were to have a relationship with a man it'd be like 'coming out' all over again.
I think sexuality is fluid, I hope to see a time in the future where no one needs to 'come out'. It really shouldn't be an issue who you decide to spend your life with.
I'm currently in a relationship with a girl, I identify as a lesbian, and i'm quite happy with that.
im in the thinking of you fall for someone despite gender.
I never thought i would fall for a girl,but Im dating one now and it doesnt feel as odd as i thought it would....lol i make no sense...xx
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I went to a sexual orientation group today and we were talking about this! weird.
I think some people are born 'gay', or at least knowing they're gay from a very early age....but not everyone. I think sexuality is much more ambiguous than being strictly gay/straight. I don't just mean bisexuality...but it's possible to be attracted to one sex at one point in your life, then be attracted to the other in the future. Not necessarily from being abused or anything, just because people change.
strange thoughts come into your head and you better think them.
I think it's a mixture of all of them really. Some people "Know" they're gay from a very early age, some realise after experimentation, some realise halfway through their lives.
I think it depends on the person and the situation.
this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy
Pround Pulmeria Sis :: Feel free to PM me anytime ::Always happy to help!
I've always been annoyed at how confusing the 'adults' around me were when I was confused at how I felt....
eg: A girl of 11 writes into a teen magazine & says ''I look at girls changing when we do P.E'
& the 'agony aunt' says ''It's normal to compare yourself, it doesn't mean you're gay''
But they've never explored the possibility that ''Yes, you might be gay''
& they never discuss it in Sex ed do they? I never even knew you could get STI's from 'Lesbian' sex until I was 19!
When I was 16 & in hospital I was seeing this guy & although it was 'against the rules' the staff turned a blind eye. Then we split up & I was seeing a girl - the staff found out & all hell broke loose & they made her a 'day-patient'.
Ok, I really have lost the point of this.....
What I mean is, I think you CAN know you are attracted to the same sex from a young age as I was but because society/adults/family/friends are trying to bring you up as 'straight' that you are never able to explore those feelings.
The closest my school got to that was telling us that, it's illegal for 2 men to have sec before the age of 18. Other than that, nothing was ever mentioned about it.
Quote:
Are you BORN gay? Or do you BECOME gay due to life events?
I agree with the pre-disposition thing.
My hope, however, is that no one will have to ever 'come out'
I've always been only attracted to those of my sex. Even when I was younger. The opposite sex made excellent friends, but I never thought more about it then that. I knew I liked the same sex for a long time, I just didn't know there was a word to go with it. I don't 'come out' to everyone because straight people never have to 'come out' either. It's not fair, and it's unnecessary. Or it should be.
So. erm. pre-disposition, but more nature then nurture. You're not gay or straight when you are born, but as you grow your hormones (even before puberty) change and define where you lay on the sexual orientation spectrum.
With me I've never fallen for anyone because they were a girl or guy.
When I was younger (13-16) I was a lesbian, I only dated girls and didn't find me attractive in the slightest.
Then I met my previous partner who was a guy and it was weird, for me, to be with someone who was a man. I struggled with sexual things, not sex, but, other activites.
Since him I have found a handful of men attractive, but I feel more comfortable with a girl, that doesn't mean my feelings are any less and I am totally besotted with my current partner who is male.
I still identify myself with being gay, yet I am dating someone of the oposite sex, I despise the word bisexual, but I have found that Pansexual fits my sexuality better.
I don't know, I think it is something that is up to the individual, and always will.
I think it probably differs between individuals.
Some can be shaped by their experiences, whereas others may just be born straight/gay/bi/whatever. *Shrugs*
You only turn gay when you're possessed by evil spirits, everyone knows that.
Really though there are many types. My personal favorite and the most predominate form I've seen are the "running from pain" gays. You had a really bad hetero relationship, or maybe a series of them, so to avoid that sort of trouble again you're going to solve your problems by swearing yourself to dating the same gender. Often they meet another person who became gay for the same reason and one of the two cheats with a member of the opposite sex, both eventually realizing the error in their logic.
I think there are those who are born gay as well, I don't believe in a specific "gay gene" but it seems plausible that the right combination of genes could flip someone's polarity so to speak. Anyone ever seen the video of the genetically altered gay fruit flies that followed each other around in chains like a conga line? Rather amusing. I think they changed the color of their eyes or skin and in doing so also turned them all gay by mistake, woops!
There are the sensible ones who were taught to be straight but were bi or gay all along and fell for someone of the same sex. I think most people are naturally bi, leaning towards the opposite sex. But society teaches them to be straight so they learn to fear or repress their other thoughts. I've often wondered what makes a person "gay?" Is it their thoughts, what turns them on, or do they have to have some sexual encounter with someone of the same sex? Could a virgin be gay?
I've often wondered what makes a person "gay?" Is it their thoughts, what turns them on, or do they have to have some sexual encounter with someone of the same sex? Could a virgin be gay?
Good point... I've always thought 'you cant be it till you've tried it' but then 'straight' people aren't gay until they've had a bit of hetro action
A virgin could be gay but it depends on the 'criteria' I suppose, it's as if the lines are blurry on what 'a gay' is. Society would argue that a virgin could not be gay as just because you may have thoughts/fantasies about the same sex it does not mean you are gay...if you in love with someone it would be different I guess.
It's as if there's one rule for hetro's & another rule for gay's
I was with a man for almost 5 years..... WE never had intercourse (yes, that must sound very weird...). We tried a couple of times but i just couldn't do it. I think i could have lived with the pain of first time but it just felt so wrong. It felt like i was violating my body.....
I was never really sexually attracted to my boyfriend, though i did love him very much.....
It has taken me four years after he broke up with me to come to terms with my sexuality.... I came out to my family and friends a few months ago....
I think men can be sweet and nice looking but i just know i can't have sex with them and when i picture myself in a relationship it is always with a girl. I just don't find men attractive.
Are virgins not aware who they're attracted to now? O_O
Your 'sexual orientation' isn't necessarily about sex at all.
Some people are asexual but still consider themselves to be gay or straight.
i'm writing an essay at the moment.
"sexuality is invented rather than discovered. discuss."
i don't know. i think i'm leaning towards the idea of those who are gay having been "made" gay by something or another, ¬ born gay.
but idk. it kindof just sounds like a cop out to say everyones different, etc.
because if there was say, a "gay gene" then why would there be a difference of opinion among gay people about the nature vs nurture debate. surely it would be [at least, more] consistent if it was biological..
Plus if there was a gay gene wouldn't it have to be passed down? Which would mean your parents/grandparents/siblings would carry the gay gene, although it could be recessive but it's unlikely to be the case.
It could also be a genetic mutation but with the amount of people that are gay I doubt that'd be the case.
I might ask my biology tutor but I'm not 'out' to my class so it could get awkward!
