Please don't suicide.
Please get help. Not so that you won't use, so you won't have to use.
Get counseling.
Get into a 12 step program like aa or narcotics anonmyous.
When you've detoxed, look for another job.
As you make progress your friends and family will respect you for working hard and turning your life around.
Been there, done that. Alcohol was my poison of choice. Right now I'm in the midst of what my circle of sober aquaintences calls a FGO, F***ing Growth Opportunity. This FGO has been going on since September 2006. I'm kinda tired of it. But it is better than trying to drink my problems away. They'll still be there, plus the remorse for breaking my sobriety.
Give your self permission to let go of this addiction.
Hugs
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