Your Opinions On Spanking Children....

[pea soup]

im just really curious on your opinions on this matter.
im open to anyone's opinion.
and i'll give you mine.

i never spankied Keith simply because i believe in the long term it teaches nothing. AND the main reason is that if i were to hit or "spank" an adult i would go to jail for assault. i cant comprehend why its ok to spank our children as punishment when hitting an adult is a crime.

i would really like opinions on this because i get alot of flack from people who disagree with me.

if you agree with spanking please give your reason and if you dont please give your reason for that too.

and please please lets keep this peaceful.
thanks
love to all.
xxxx

[bobidrawpictures]

I don't agree with spanking or any form of psychical force as i don't think violence solves anything. If a child misbehaves take the child aside and explain to him\her what they have done wrong, There are other waysto punish your child and its always better to talk than hit

[griddlebone]

I dont think I could make a decision on this until Im dealing with it in reality however Im in the mind that I probably would smack my child.

I had a somewhat abusive father.
I'm still all FOR spanking.

There are only so many WAYS you can tell a child, "yes, you have nailed down the principle finding of this experiment. When you turn off the light switch, daddy can't see where he's going when he trying to find you, and kill you, and he trips on your toys and breaks his foot".

You are morally obliged to stop whatever you are doing at that point, and have an encounter!
Dicky!

[Mandimoo]

i was smacked as a child, it did me no harm.
i do believe there is a difference in smacking for discipline and smacking that turns into abuse.

when i was 2 my mum had me having a 3hour tantrum, she ended it with a simple smack, it did what nothing else had done. at 2 you don't understand right and wrong properly, nor do you understand the emotions, and it is very hard to calm a chold sufficiently to explain to them what they have done wrong.

my mum had tried the naughty step (which never worked for either me or my bro), the cold shower, the no dinner until you calm down, the stay in your bedroom until you're ready to say sorry. one smack and she was left thinking its midnight now, why didnt i do that sooner?

mand x

[Stellata]

I disagree with smacking. For me it only made me more afraid and wary. Especially as I'd done nothing wrong whenever dad hit me with his slipper.

It can so easily get out of control, or come from a place of impatience or fear or sense of powerlessness in the parent, and follows what the parent wants the child to be rather than the normal maturational stages of the child.

[Sofie]

What exactly does it teach children? That smacking each other is acceptable? I dsagree with it. If I was to punish a child, then it would be something like making them go to bed early, no TV, etc.

[HopeRises]

I've also come from an abusive background and although at the time what was happening damaged me..now it's good and I can also see why my father done that to me and how I actually deserved most of it.

I think I will be open minded about smacking, with some children its wrong cause they're anxious etc.. like with my sister my dad just had to look slightly cross and she would cry. But I would laugh and laugh and laugh until I was black and blue (again I'd laugh cause I was anxious) Aslong as its in control..like a smack on the back of the leg/back of hand/bum done with a hand and it wouldn't go any further then thats ok, its when smacking goes to abuse that its wrong and damaging. Also i think they're needs to be a very very good reason to do that to a child.

[Rogalsgirl]

If I had kids, I wouldn't do it.

[eeyore86]

I don't agree with ANY form of smacking, maybe my upbringing or maybe just me but I agree with apple, why is it unlawful to hit an adult but ok to hit a child!???

[Nat]

I would like to think I wouldnt but I dont think you could judge until you are in the situation. I know for me a NO was enough but my brother was more of a handful and nothing but a little smack on his nappy covered bottom worked better. I think it is also you know if a child keeps going near a fire and you say no becasue you will get hurt surely a tap (and I do mean a tap) so they can feel the hurt is better than them sticking their hand and getting burnt.
I really dont know I really couldnt judge until I had a child - I would like to think I wouldnt need to but as all things you cant judge until you are in the situation.

[Mimsy]

No. Its wrong, children are not subordinate human beings. Besides... why would i wish to discourage children to like me? We cant hurt other peoples children, why is it that we hit our own?

[this too shall pass]

when i was less than two my mum raiosed her hand to me

i backed away in fear fell and was millimetres from the skirting board

this made my mum realise the possible severity of her actions and she never did it again

both me and my boyfriend have been raised via the explainations treatment ie "this is bad because..." you dont do this because..." etc and we are both well rounded individuals who have, i feel a greater sense of right from wrong

due to this we have agreed to raise our children when we get there in the same manner teaching them right from wrong verbally

the worst case i ever saw a toddler tripped over and her dad laughed so she hit him her mum punished her by smacking whilst saying "don't smack" to me thats a confusing message for any child

[little mermaid]

I grew up in a very violent household. Because of this, as a 20 year old woman I'm still flinching when anyones mad at me - my boyfriend, my best friend, even my boss.

I think it's too hard to draw the line between spanking and abuse, and it's better to avoid it all together. I think it is far better to have someones respect through love rather than fear. How do you teach your children they can't hit other children when they're angry with them if that's how you deal with your anger? Also, at what age is a child "too old" to be spanked. Surely a father can't be smacking his 11 year old daughter on the bum? I don't know.. I think it's a bit pre-historic.

[blondiebear]

I was abused too. I don't have kids in part because I believe people who were abused in childhood often abuse their children.

I'm not a parent. Each child has different needs. I think that some people should never spank because of their character, that is the character of the adult and his potential problems. I don't think that spanking is bad if it is used rarely and as a way of getting the kid's attention to emphasize that a certain behavior is intolerable, and if is used infrequently, like an exclamation point.

For a long winded example:

The friends we stayed with in October have a strong willed three year old. She is as big as a six year old. They spank her to get her attention. One day the three year old found my husband's contact lens case and his lenses were in it. After taking them away from her I explained to the three year old that these were not hers, they belonged to Philip and that Philip could not see without them. Knowing what her parents' policies are, I then threatened to spank her if she touched them again. Her parents were okay with that. We didn't have to spank her. My husband is helpless without contacts/glasses, we were on a road trip 3000 miles from home and hubi is much less comfortable driving wearing glasses instead of contacts so it was a health and safety issue.
I then told my husband what had happened and he made a point of hiding the lens case more carefully, exp because it is bright colored.

Since i am not a parent I honor whatever are the policies of that parent.

Sorry if this is TMI.

[Margo]

Well this one will run and run.

I dont have a problem with smaking providing its done as a last resort and not as the first port of call cus thats just bad lazy parenting and also can lead to abuse.

I got smaked when i was naughty or endangering myself. Its done me no harm because my parents used it as a last resort when reason didnt work.

Each to his own in my opinion. If you do then fine and if you dont then fine. I think it would be wrong to say its wrong to smack providing that the intent was to correct and not to harm!

[Dan]

I disagree with spanking children. I got it done to me alot, I got smacked like mad, and whilst I don't see it as abuse, I wouldn't want my children going through that, I mean, I'd feel like an abuser hitting a child.

[Ileana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~longing~tears~

It can so easily get out of control, or come from a place of impatience or fear or sense of powerlessness in the parent, and follows what the parent wants the child to be rather than the normal maturational stages of the child.

Ditto!

[[Purple_Rain]]

i think that it shouldn't happen. both me and my brother were spanked. both of us hated watchign the other one in pain (if we were there or afterwards). my dad never explained what i had done wrong. the only memories i have of him untill i was 7/8 are of him spanking me, and i still resnt him for it, and it did develop into abuse. to me there is too greater risk of it developing into a abuse to even consider it.

and example of one time i got spanked. i touched a dead spider and lied about it, then dad find out i had lied and spanked me. when he todl me to bend over i thought we wer playing a game. it was his answer for every little thing i did wrong. and the result?
yes im well behaved, but i can tstand up for myself, have no confidence or self esteme and flinch every time he comes near me.

my mum spanked me once tha ti rememebr when i was throwing a tantrum, but later she apologised and said she shouldnt have, and gave me a small present (a bouncy ball, i was in love with them lol). this made me respect her so much, and i have always respected her more than my dad becuase she never raised a hand to me ro steve apart from that one time, and she saw us so much mroe than my dad as he was only there 2 days every 2 weeks. i have always been clsoer to my muma nd always will be.

IMO spankign is never right. there is alwasy a better option. and children dont understand that its only soemthign parents can do to their child. as a result, i am very ashamed to admit, i hit my freinds alot untill the age of 12/13 when i realised what i was doign and why. it scared me so much the thought that i mgith end up liek my dad.

and as peopel have already said, if we did it to an adult we would get arrested. children arnt sub-human. i dotn see what a child could do would be so bad they deserve to be hit, becuase hwo do you knwo how much it hurts them? your not the child.

jsut my 2 cents, sorry i rambled.

[Trucktastic]

I was smacked as a child, but only when I had done something really wrong or had done something dangerous.

I don't think it does any harm, as long as it's done as a last resort and only if the child has done something really nasty.


Loz x