I have this weird thing where I daren't go to sleep at night, especially if my boyfriend is already asleep, as I don't feel safe. I feel afraid that I will dream things that disturb me or that I'll die in my sleep or just that I'll be a different person when I wake up. This doesn't happen if I take a nap in the day, especially if my boyfriend is awake. Can anyone understand or relate to this? It is putting strain on my relatinship as my boyfriend is a great lover of his bed and likes to be asleep by 12 whereas I tend to go to bed about 4/5 every night, even (in fact, especially) when I have an early morning. I hate that I have to sleep, I wish it didn't take me over, I feel so out of control, like most bodily functions it just gets in the way and wastes time.
Last edited by TouchVanDerBoom : 04-06-2007 at 06:03 AM.
Reason: need to amend labelling
Please. I really need support. I've sat up all night, it's almost 6am, and all I've done is listen to better singer/songwriters than me and wish I was better, painstakingly scour google for a mention of my dad who's in New York Speaking at a conference and cry when I saw his name in the line up, find my mum's house on Google Earth and sit staring at my mum's bedroom window wishing I was with her now, wishing I was a little girl and safe again. I miss both of them so much. It's so hard when you grow up.
I am seriously thinking about cutting, I need to be "ill", I need him to look after me, I can't be a grown-up anymore...
i was terrified to sleep
for a long time
i was taking sleeping pills everynight, and watching TV til they knocked me out
then i had to stop taking the sleeping pills
started out falling asleep watching a DVD or TV
then worked my way to CD
i now3 fall asleep to a relaxation CD everynight
and have it playing on repeat so if i wake up, its not dark and silent
I also have trouble falling asleep. It seems like my mind is on overload. I am also terrified of having this reoccuring dream. It makes me very anxious. The only suggestion I can give you is, avoid getting in bed until you are completely exhausted and know that you will fall asleep. Turn your tv on and set it to sleep. Dont watch the tv just listen to it, this helps to give me security as its not quiet or dark. Hopefully this will help you!
When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze. - Unknown
youre not alone is this sweetie. its 1am here and im so very tired but cant sleep. i have horrible nightmares when i do...so i try avoiding it altogether which is impossible. i do find that sleeping during the day is better for me. i feel safer for some reason. maybe you should speak to someone professionally about this if you already havent.
much love.
xx
It'll be alright. I would try to see someone about the sleep problems though. You can do things and you don't have to be "ill" to get some help. I hope you get some sleep soon. Not sleeping always makes me more wired then origonally intended. Stay safe
Thanks for the hugs and advice guys, the TV thing is a good idea, I think I'll try that. I am seeing someone, about my issues in general, and will bring this up with her next time I see her. I was meant to go today but didn't. I did cut this morning, less deeply than I intended, and I'm ambivalent about that. Had a major row with my boyfriend in which he said some very low and cruel things to me and having caused me to cry for about an hour went downstairs to make himself breakfast and kept shouting "shut up" and telling me I'm a "nightmare" and the like. He did make me some breakfast though and when I calmed down I wrote him a really good letter explaining how I feel and he was apologetic and tearful (I know, there's a pattern here)
I hope that you are able to figure something out that helps you to sleep. Let us know how things go.
Peace and Love <3
Mek
When she lowers her eyes she seems to hold all the beauty in the world between her eyelids; when she raises them I see only myself in her gaze. - Unknown
(((hugs))) First of all, it's not right for your boyfriend to verbally abuse you in such a manner. You cannot help your issues and you deserve to be respected and understood - not demeaned. But that is between you and him. I know I have trouble sleeping. I will stay awake until three or four in the morning. My mind gets to going and I dwell on all of the bad, worrisome or unpleasant things from the previous day or from fifteen years ago. I even have panic attacks in bed. If my husband falls asleep before I do, I'm doomed. It's like I don't feel safe when I don't fall asleep with him. I just lay there, staring at the night light and listening to him snore. I tried taking sleeping pills, but they made me feel really freaky. I hope you can find something to help you sleep at night. I find sometimes that if I take a warm bath before bed it helps ease the stress, but I'm still trying to figure out how to stop being afraid of the darkness.
