I just wanted to raise something which has been bothering me for a while, and get other people's views on it.
I don't understand why, as numbers are banned, it is permitted to use Xs with several digits. I think it is just as triggering to say that someone has had 'xxxx stitches in 12 months' or that they weigh 'xx pounds'. Knowing that somebody has stitches which enter into the thousands or weighs less than 100 pounds, for example, is a pretty clear marker for competition. Same goes with number of tablets or occasions they've been to hospital.
If people wish to get support for the extent of their self-harming behaviour, there are other ways in which to communicate this without triggering other people. Likewise, if they want to record their self-harming behaviour specifically, this is something they should do in private.
I agree, and it is actually against the rules to put multiple x's for things.
One x will do!
EDIT: It's not an official rule but this is written in a sticky on the RV board.
Quote:
Also, as the use of numbers (weights, calories, measurements of wounds etc) are not allowed to be posted, we understand that it is easier to star out (*) or put X in the place the number would be. However, a common trend is now to put multiple *s or Xs therefore still indicating the numbers which is can be just as triggering. While this has yet to be updated in the rules, these are still not permitted and will be removed. Please just use one * or X in the place of numbers.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
As said above, it is preferred for people to use one X only. However, how do you propose this is policed and/or enforced? Don't the mods have enough to do without going around and changing a few xs?
As said above, it is preferred for people to use one X only. However, how do you propose this is policed and/or enforced? Don't the mods have enough to do without going around and changing a few xs?
I agree that the mods have more than enough work to do already.
But when xs are used for the exactly same purpose as numbers and are considered to be as triggering by members, then I also think it's legit for that to be reported. I would think it bears the same risks of triggering and generating an atmosphere of competition as actual numbers.
So they will be removed, we just havent had a chance to do it yet. Or they havent been reported.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Also I have always said that I think theres no reason at all for people to be like Oh I have x stitches, x calories, I dont understand why you cant just say 'i got stitches' or whatever, it makes no sense. If you know how many stitches you have then great but if you cant post the number whats the point of putting x's instead.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Also I have always said that I think theres no reason at all for people to be like Oh I have x stitches, x calories, I dont understand why you cant just say 'i got stitches' or whatever, it makes no sense. If you know how many stitches you have then great but if you cant post the number whats the point of putting x's instead.
You raise a good point there Liv, I never thought about it like that. I use x instead of numbers at times when the number seems important to me. I think I will think about it next time I want to write it down like that and see if I can avoid it.
Also I have always said that I think theres no reason at all for people to be like Oh I have x stitches, x calories, I dont understand why you cant just say 'i got stitches' or whatever, it makes no sense. If you know how many stitches you have then great but if you cant post the number whats the point of putting x's instead.
Me neither. I think a lot of it stems from a need for validation. But then, xs (or the number of them) don't bother me.
However, beyond the mods getting more work to do, is there something more pro-active that could be done? Beyond just better publication of the rule? I mean, trigger labels have been out for a while now and they still get posted quite frequently.
Sometimes it seems easier to write (not sure why) and there is no harm in it really. People here have done it for so long now.
Like things saying 'I did x' seems easier than saying 'I did something' because it specifies something bad?
I don't know.
Well...thats not entirely true, it does harm people just as saying most things on here hurts someone.
But why feel the need to specify something bad, if you say 'I got stitches' then whats the points of saying 'I got x number of stitches' it makes no difference to whats being said.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Me neither. I think a lot of it stems from a need for validation. But then, xs (or the number of them) don't bother me.
However, beyond the mods getting more work to do, is there something more pro-active that could be done? Beyond just better publication of the rule? I mean, trigger labels have been out for a while now and they still get posted quite frequently.
They don't bother me either, I just don't see the reason for them, never have done!
I'm going to sound rude but there we go, I don't know how to say it more tactfully.....A lot of the time people dont even bother to not do something against the rules, like the trigger labels, because they know we will edit it or whatever. Plus new people join, dont bother to read the rules, do the trigger labels etc and then either they learn from their thread being edited or they dont.
I wish I could force people to read the rules and remember them before they join,but people who join are usually distressed so they just click the agree and dont bother reading them.
Maybe thats something the CT could do, post up some reminders or PM members reminders or something, Im not sure.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
I can see how putting multiple x's would harm someone, but saying 'I did x' instead of saying 'I cut' is sometimes easier for that person and I don't see how it would make any difference to someone reading it.
Personally, I don't tend to put 'x stitches' anymore because I don't see the point, but it doesn't bother me when people do, although the 'xx stitches' does.
But that's my personal opinion, everyone is going to think differently.
I think the CT doing it is a good idea, as we don't seem to be doing anything at the moment and haven't done for a while!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Because it leaves it up the imagination then doesnt it.People can magic up much worse scenarios with that then the facts.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
From a purely aesthetic point of view, I prefer a double xx to a single one. To me it shows something is missing more than a typo. But that is just me.
What is 'worse' is entirely subjective and there is no real point in discussing that unless we want to open it up to be concerning the entire board, rather than just numbers and xs.
its fruitless and no where did i say we should get rid of them just that i think its pointless and i dont understand why its necessary.
Rather than going round in circles what can we do about it to improve the situation.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Thanks for your input guys. I guess in terms of improving it, could people who use more than one X be PMed in addition to the post being edited? I'm not sure if this is already done, but it would give a clear message.
