Relapse.

[angellover13]

alright. so I have been clean for a year and four months...but I am starting to feel that recurrence of depression coming back. I know my family, boyfriend, and friends wouldn't appreciate me doing it, in fact they would probably send me to the hospital. I told my friend i was going back into depression and they said i shouldn't because it would hurt them to see me go through that....but i keep feeling worthless and that I'm no good to the world. any advice for me? i really need something to help me through the night..thanks

[ennae]

Hugs Angellover13. Relapses are very hard. Can you speak to your doctor about your depression and get some help so that you don't feel the need to SH? I hope you can stay strong and feel better soon because you have done so well so far!

[crazykat]

First of all well done on being clean for a year and four months what an awesome achievement. I am sorry to hear that you feel your depression coming back. Do you have any support at all for your depression? It can be so important to have support to enable us to get through it.

Also one of the things that often slips when we are feeling depressed is our self-care so things like personal hygiene, eating habits, sleeping etc tend to suffer. It is really important to try and keep up basic self-care though as not looking after ourselves can contribute to the depression. You may feel that you don't deserve self-care but everyone does and this is the most important time to try and maintain at least a little bit of it.

As for the self-harm, try and remember just because you are going through a rough patch doesn't mean you to give in and relapse. Think of how hard you have worked to get to where you are and use that as a motivation to fight through the urges. You may also find it helpful to have a list of coping strategies on hand somewhere easily visible so if you do get the urge you can work through a list of strategies. There is a great list of distraction ideas that can be found here that you may find helpful to give you some ideas of things to add to your list.

[angellover13]

no..i don't have a doctor to talk about it to. my parents think im alright and haven't started slipping back into it but my friends can tell. i try not to worry my parents because they have so much going on right now. i used to talk to a teacher but now i don't have a way to contact them. when I was doing it a year ago my mother asked if i needed a therapist but I said no due to money issues. Although i do wish I would've taken up on the offer. but I don't want to bring it up because she will be very upset(sad). i just feel like it's not even worth it, there are easier things than having to "cope" or "live" with it. Ugh, I don't even know.

[crazykat]

I know you don't want to bring it up to your parents because your afraid that they will get upset up it but I think they would rather know than to have you suffer alone. It's part of being a parent to get upset for your children because you care. So let them be there for you. With support it will mean you can work through this and learn to cope better.

[Kathryn_Anna]

I'm sorry I'm not in the right frame of mind to give much support but I just wanted you you know that I've read this entire thread and I agree with Kat. Many *hugs* hun!

[bitomato]

Hey,
while I totally understand your money concerns- as I get myself pretty worked up too- trying to think of a not too corny analogy. You are coming down from a mountaintop (stability) but if you can either avoid reaching the valley or get intervention fast enough you can minimise your time in the value (low mood). Staying well is an ongoing process. You sense yourself going into a depressive episode you need to notify a healthcare professional. It might be about adjusting meds, something with sleep, diet, work, stress, need for more support- professional or family or even like you are wary of- hospitalisation in order to stay safe. However, by leaving it- your options decrease and the level of mental health goes from manageable to acute. Hospitalisation may be longer, or you put yourself more at risk of relapse. talk to someone who has the ability to assess you or direct you to someone who can. Don't self- diagnose. You know yourself, and in order to stay well or return to being stable you need to know it is okay to need more support sometimes. Don't do it alone. Keep asking for help until you find someone who listens. Your friends sound like they don't understand how MH issues work. Hang in there.

[Pi.R^2]

Mainly just want to second what everyone else has said, as it's great advice!

It's great that you've got the insight to identify the signs of recurrence of depression, as it means you can intervene and catch it early. What helped you in your recovery last time? Maybe some of those strategies could be used here.