I've been watching these forums for a while now, just to get a bit of comfort when I'm feeling the same as some people on here. It had been a great help to me, but now I need to talk to someone.
I have IBS which, for those who don't know, is kind of like having a food intolerance, but you don't know what the food is. It developed during my early teens, and was probably stress and anxiety induced. In the beginning I thought it was a one off, but then it started to bother me at sleepovers and school, which then became a bother for my social life. I have a good, caring group of friends who I trust, but I can never go to sleepovers or evening meals or parties of any sort because I'm anxious of my IBS. It affected me at prom rather severely, although I wasn't nervous it self conscious then, and it began to affect me a lot more during the exam period, which was also a time when I was having some troubles at home and didn't really talk to anyone about.
I've had therapy for it and been to the doctors, but my anxiety wasn't severe Or consistent enough for medication so they sent me off and told me to try yoga, which ended up being no help to me.
Now. Since the therapy it calmed down for a bit, but the habit of avoiding socialising at school slowly came back, and so did the anxiety of everything going wrong for me for a second time.
A few weeks ago a school trip was organised for all the art students in my class to go to the city, which is around 4 hours away on the train. I booked because it's the last day of school and it would be anice change of scenery. But here's the problem:
We have to meet on the train at 5.30am and won't get back until 10pm. I'm not going to be anywhere near home, probably nowhere near a toilet for most of it, and honestly, for that reason alone I don't want to go. But there isn't a refund for the £28 it cost for train tickets in the first place, and if I drop out now, people will want to know why.
It's not as simple as just 'going' when I need to. If I'm angry or anxious at myself for getting so bad that my stomach plays up I won't be able to 'go'.
Telling my friends the problem isn't an option because they'll laugh. Not because they're mean ou horrible people, but because if I didn't understand what IBS is, if I didn't know how bad it could affect people, I'd laugh too.
I'm sorry, i know right now this seems a bit dramatic, but this has really messed me up. It's all I can think about, I avoid going out at all costs and I HATE myself because now I have a problem, not only the IBS but the anxiety attacks as well, but I can't get any meds for it and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it because no one will take me seriously.
My problem is the school trip. It's on Friday, and I'm an so terrified about it that just the thought of this going wrong like they have at prom and so many other times makes me want to be sick. I've tried calming down, I've tried starving myself and not eating certain foods. Now I'm borderline desperate.
Please, if there's anyone out there who can relate in any way, or I can so much as talk to them I'd be much appreciated.
Hi,
I dont really know much about IBS ive only hears of it so Im afraid im not much use on that but have you tried any breathing exercises for your panic. I know that if someone starts to get anxious it can mess up there body.
You dont need to be sorry about telling people your problems. Any problem no matter how small is a problem.
is there any way you can talk to one of your teachers about ypur concerns?
Hope your okay
X
Just when the caterpillar thought she was dying she turned into a beautiful butterfly
I'm so sorry about your struggles with IBS. I don't have it but have several friends/relatives who do, so I feel like I have a pretty good sense of it. And I think that a lot of people do have kind of a clue, or at least would/should be respectful and get that it's a real thing.
I'm also sorry that therapy/docs haven't been helpful so far. Do you think it would be worth trying to go back and ask again, maybe for meds and/or CBT techniques to help with the anxiety, if that's really affecting your quality of life (it seems like it really is).
My friends who've had IBS, they've had various tests done but generally nothing much comes out of the testing, and the docs just say you have to live with it and try to keep an eye on what you eat, what triggers attacks, and work on stress, exercise, sleep, all that other stuff that can affect your guts.
I do think it's serious though, both the IBS which IS a legitimate illness, *and* the extreme anxiety you've been feeling that has led you to shy away from friends/activities. My sister-in-law has IBS, and there are times when we might have plans, and she'll need to cancel and just say that her IBS is 'acting up.' And that seems totally normal and reasonable to me, since it seems that IBS is often like a stomach bug that comes and goes, and nobody with a stomach bug wants to be away from their own bathroom!
So-- if later in the week, your IBS is really bothering you, I think you're perfectly within your rights to cancel because your IBS is acting up (or whatever language-- you have a chronic stomach/digestive condition that is really irritated).
But the other, maybe bigger issue is how to approach the anxiety you feel around the IBS (which seems to exacerbate the physical issues themselves) so that you don't have to become a shut-in because you are anxious that an attack might strike. I would think that a therapist should be able to help.
And maybe there's a support group for people with IBS? Online or in real life?
Thank you both of you for the wonderful comments. :)
I agree with what you have both said, that the anxiety is the bigger problem, and if course, does no good for the condition itself. I have been taught breathing techniques to calm my heart rate etc to calm any brewing anxiety, although I have also struggled sometimes as when I get in a state I can be like that for hours before I just end up having a full blown anxiety attack, and most of the time it's not even over something with being anxious about.
I'm not constantly this anxious, but when I get to that state, I will try to do anything to snap myself out of it. I've even gone to the extent that I have a knife hidden in my bedroom if I ever need to keep it from escalating. I know that isn't the way to go, and I haven't had to go that far as of yet - and it worries me that is hot top this point - but sometimes when I'm alone and scared I need to snap myself out of it before this gets out of hand.
So yes, I think the anxiety is the underlying issue, and I've found a foum that I've just been reading into and the anxiety is another symptom of it. It's a vicious circle, really, and right now I'm really worried about all the things that will go wrong if I can't keep myself together over this.
Secondly, I've been diagnosed with IBS and my sister has also. In my opinion, IBS is what doctors say for GI issues when they've run all their tests and don't know what's wrong. So, I know how frustrating it is because there's no cure or treatment or pill.
Not to get too personal here, but can you medicate your symptoms? For example, if you get diarrhea when you're anxious, can you take an antidiarrheal on Thursday so you won't have symptoms Friday at the event?
What do your parents say? Has you GP suggested anything? I know it's not just a matter of not eating-- because even if you don't eat and that means you don't get diarrhea, you're still going to get all the aches and pains and cramps that ceom with IBS typically.
Sometimes antihistamines may help you relax, you could try that. I really think you should make an appt with your doctor and come up with some options. Maybe asking for something for your anxiety will really help your IBS.
I don't think you should back out of Friday. Here's why: even if it's horrible, it's better than not going and reinforcing your fear. Your worry over it being horrible is 90% of the problem, so by not going you're only encouraging that fear. If you go, it may be fine! If you go and it's bad, you'll find a way to manage throughout the day and that could be really helpful for you down the line.
One last tip: if you go and get some GI issues, blame it on the food. Everyone will understand that and be sympathetic. You don't have to claim IBS. And if you gotta go but can't go because you're too anxious (I can totally relate), try to sing to yourself or meditate while on the toilet-- OR, say screw it and you don't get to go. When you gotta go enough, it'll come out. (Another tip: if you point your toes down when you're sitting on the toilet, it'll help relax your pelvic floor so you can go potty. Also, try deep breathing when on the toilet. A google search might give you more tips for helping go to the bathroom when on the toilet.) I used to talk to my intestines: If you're not going to cooperate, I'm not wasting my time on you! If anything, it made me emotionally feel better. :)
Feel free to PM me if you want. I can totally relate, and I'm happy to listen and offer any tidbits I know.
Thank you so much for the post! It's so reassuring to know it's not just me. My parents can't always understand why I act like I need to go one minute and not the next, or even I'm going every ten minutes for two hours flat. They told me to take peppermint and charcoal tablets, but neither are very pleasant and don't seem to do much help. :( the GP suggested yoga, which wouldn't do anything.
It is mostly diarrhoea, but I'm not confident with tablets for that as I had a bad experience which made me really ill. I do have however, are pills that should help relieve cramps from time to time. Not sure if they make a significant difference though.
I read your post two days ago and I have been giving your suggestions a go. It has worked at times, but at the moment I'm on my period, which can sometimes cause it to play up more, and I've been unable to keep from getting anxious about Friday, still. I'm worried that I'm going to really need to go and we're nowhere near a loo, out my entire art class is going to know I'm having issues. Our even that it happens at all. I was affected badly at prom, and I was there for 4 hours. I may be out for 16 hours on Friday, and the majority of that will be traveling. Everything could go wrong, she because it's so far away I'm worried that I'll panic because I'm nowhere near home, or my parents, and I'm far too humiliated to explain it to my friends, or even the teachers. The thought of any of this happening makes me want to cry. :(
The med you have to relieve GI cramps also slows peristalsis, which is ramped up when you have diarrhea. SO, those anti-cramp pills SHOULD help with the diarrhea, even if just a little. How did antidiarrheals make you ill? All they should do is constipate you at worst.
If Friday is panicking you that much, then cancel. But I think you're stronger than you give yourself credit. Why wouldn't you be near a bathroom? Travelling? If it happens while travelling, can you try to distract yourself?
I think charcoal is a good suggestions. Ginger tea? Do you drink cafeeine/coffee? If so, stop, because that's definitely making things worse. Did you try Peptobismol? Avoid foods high in fat or fiber, and avoid dairy. Bland things and protein are best-- chicken & rice. Have you tried taking probiotics? You can buy them at the drug store.
Whatever you choose, good luck. And keep us posted. :)
I can't so late down the line, but I doubt I'd get get a decent response. They think I'm making it up.
The antidiarrheals made me ill because I took them when I shouldn't have. I took them thinking it was IBS when actually I had genuine diarrhoea and although I was constipated I had a strong feeling of diarrhoea for hours, as well as my temperature drop and I nearly fainted. So now I'm hesitant to take them in case I misjudge again.
I'm not going to lie, but I've been on the verge of tears all day because I'm so scared and angry at myself. I should go, but since the teacher has been telling us all about it this morning i haven't been able to think of a reason to go. what if I get over it now, calm down, go and still it all goes wrong? It has happened before, many times. What if I need to go s soon as we start traveling and have to try and hold it in for 16 hours? If anything happens my entire art class will know about it. There isn't many of us going. I know i should go because I feel like a coward sitting here and crying about it when all we're doing is looking at some stupid art galleries. But now I'm genuinely scared. If I don't go i know I'll not make things better for myself and my parents will be really disappointed in me. But if i do go and something happens - which is pretty much a guarantee - i might never go out on big trips again. :(
I went, talked to mum about it and she said basically what you said about if I didn't go it might just make it worse for me. I agree nothing but bland foods, which seemed to do the trick. :) My IBS wasn't too much of a problem, i took some cramp relief pills whenever I felt like I needed to go, and when I got home I felt healthy, no constipation or diarrhoea.
The second half of the day was exhausting though and I think that got to me more due to being up so long. Had lots of problems with the trains (spent two hours in a carriage that had no air con, it was 35 degrees and we weren't allowed to move to a cooler carriage and second train delayed do it wasn't until around 11 that I finally got home). Was a bit depressed by the time I was home because I realised I wasn't going to see my friends together until after the summer holidays.
I admit the second half of the day was pretty awful. But it certainly wasn't worth all the worry and stress I put myself through. :) thank you guys for being so supportive. ^_^
I wonder if you could get a radar key as you would certainly be eligible for it and that may help your anxiety etc
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