Contains sexual abuse - The night that haunts me *possibly triggering*

[Bucket97]

I was led to his house and taken to his room, laid on the floor and despite my fighting before I could gather the blur before me into any kind of sense...he was inside me...and a sharp pain radiated through me as though I'd been shot. My screams faded to a whimper and my fighting turned to nothing but a half hearted shove. I thought to myself 'this can't be it, this isn't happening, it doesn't count' but I was kidding myself, because I knew that I had been robbed of both my virginity and my pride; and there I was lying on the bedroom floor of the monster I once called my boyfriend, staring at the smudged figure across the room. I quickly realised that since he was in no way trying to help me, he too meant me harm. I was right, and next he was inside me. His hands, they were cold and thin and he grabbed me so tight that I began bleeding beneath his fingers, and then he was finished. He got up, thanked his 'mate' as though he had given him a piece of chewing gum and then left the deed behind him and me alone in the room with HIM. The only sound that broke the silence was his mumble of satisfaction as he stared at me still sprawled on the floor.

[Bucket97]

Please someone help me I don't know where to turn! Im all alone! I can feel him touching me! I want it to stop! Please make it stop!

[Given]

One thing I have learned about violating people or any people - what they do to others - they cause hurt and pain - but in the long run of life - they really destroy themselves - the more bad they do - the more they violate - the less and less moral they become - the more of a wretch of a human being they become.

Its not you who are to blame - you've been betrayed and hurt - but your consience is clean - you can be at peace knowing you have done nothign wrong - unfortunately bad things can happen to everyone if your in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person.

But this guy - has all this guilt of what he is - hanging over his head - one day he will be brought to account for everything he has done - when he faces death - the moment of truth - there is no escaping what you done in life - all comes back to you.

When you get along with your life and eventually have to face death as everyone eventually does - you can know - you never hurt anyone this way - but someone done it to you - but you lived through it.

In the long run - it is much better to be you than him - .

[Bucket97]

Thank you for your reply, but do you have any advice on how to get over what happened to me?

[Given]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucket97

Thank you for your reply, but do you have any advice on how to get over what happened to me?

there is no easy answer - I can give or any magic forumla.

there is things I have lived through - and I look back and wish I could change the past - but its all in vain because you cannot.

it hurts when life goes against the way you think it should - some things are not supposed to happen to you - your life isnt suppoed to go this way - but it still happened.

whats past is past - so the answer is never in the past we cannot change - it has to be in our future.

I'm not qualified to give you a answer - I can only try to make sense of what I can.

One good thing - is at least by making this thread - you have faced up to the truth of what happened to you.

The truth hurts - but facing it is the way - I hope you can slowly come to accpetance of what happened.

I hope as time passes - you heal - and become wiser -

[DestinyInPain]

to tell you the truth, the memory will always be there it will hurt still as time goes by but the pain will fade at some point.
by acoknowleging what happened, this is the first step to recovering from it.
I'm so sorry it happened to you, sweetie. you've done the right thing by coming on here as these guys have helped me alot.