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Crisis team etc. ignoring traumatic event?
Right... I have been struggling recently feeling even more low than usual (I have severe depression) and very hopeless about the future. My boyfriend has pretty much been my carer for a few months now. We have been togther 9 months, and he has been the only person who seems to really understand and be there for me. Because of this, I stopped asking friends for support - which seemed great as they were getting mighty pissed off. So I have become more isolated (though by no means entirely) because it is harder to keep up smiling, and so I have avoided people when things are hurting a lot, as I have been able to talk to/have a cuddle from my boyfriend, and not piss off anyone by crying in front of them or something.
However I found out that my BF has been lying about almost everything. Mainly career and experiences in that, as well as his family and background. He tells me there are 3 realities in his head, and is clearly messed up and depressed himself, and has turned to imagination for many years (though not to this extent) and tbh I think it's crossed the line into psychosis. His family and myself are supporting him, friends have been remarkably understanding towards him/ still wanting to know him (though he is laying low for a bit).
So I am in shock, and feeling desperate and alone. I have been dragged to A&E twice now, once by his dad (who is being very kind) and once by him AND ambulance and police. The crisis team are spectacularly useless as ever. The first time they kept saying that 'in time' I could 'repair the relationship', which struck me as rather bad advice, and really not relevent as I was in shock, terrified and suicidal. They seemed to see it as a normal breakup and thought my happiness depended on having my bf back (not a healthy view to take for anyone) despite the fact that my bf had turned out to be fictional!!
The second time they didnt even bother to come and see me, just told the dr over the phone that if I went home, I could call them later, otherwise it'd be a LONG wait in A&E (they know I hate being in there, they were clearly trying to put me off). And they didn't seem to understand that I don't call them cos they're utterly useless and I'm frightened of them cos they make me feel worse. They seem to think that speaking to them is some kind of magic cure-all, whereas I was dragged to A&E by people who wanted me admitted.
So I have lost my boyfriend, the one person I trusted, the person who helped me scrape through every day, the only person who understood the pain inside, and the only person I could turn to when suicidal. And I've lost them in a weird way.
This is a pretty big trauma to me, as well as the practicalities eg. he would pop to the shops for me sometimes and keep me safe when I felt the urge to SI or kill myself.
Why are they acting like nothing's happened? Surely this would send anyone over the edge, least of all someone who already was hovering there.
I'm losing track of what day it is and can only think of time as how many days 'since it happened' and struggling to wash... well I haven't... and barely eating - only eat to stop the hunger pain and it's hard to swallow and stuff.
I think I seriously need help and have nowhere to turn.
Last edited by earthbound_misfit : 11-08-2012 at 05:30 PM.
Reason: sp
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