Contains abuse - HELP WITH CUTTING!

[finite-life]

so i have been cutting alot lately. and i have this friend who evertime i cut. she does it ten times worse! and all it makes me want to do is cut more. i cant stop and she doesnt understand. i feel so bad because its all my fault that she is doing it. she always goes so deep. she is going to kill herself one of these times, and she is my best friend. i dont know what to do.

[Tig]

Hey Lovely,

It is not your fault that your friend harms herself. We all have to take responsibility for our own actions, and I know that can sometimes sound harsh but it is true. You aren't putting that tool to your friends skin - she is choosing to do that for whatever reason.

However, I am very concerned for both of you. Although she is your best friend it doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship at all if you are both self harming and perhaps triggering each other off. What do you think about that? Of course nobody here can tell you to not be friends but I think it would be worth considering if there was a way for you to make your friendship safer. For example, could you and your friend decide that it's not really appropriate to discuss each others self harm? It's not to encourage secrecy but so that you can maintain the friendship without the additional triggers and stress.

x

[lilmissjay]

You shouldn't blame yourself for your friend's cutting. It has always been her decision to do that to herself and no one else can make her do it. Also, has anything else been going on in your life to cause you to cut more lately?

[finite-life]

well my home life sucks. im not trying to complain. but i get put down everyday at my house by my dad and family. everthing has turned to SH** after my mom left. i have thoughts of suicide and the girl i love hates me......

[Tig]

It sounds like you have a lot going on for you. Please don't feel that you are complaining. You are entitled to express what is going on for you and it doesn't constitute as whinging or complaining :)

That is awful that you are put down every day at home by your dad and family. Is there anybody you can talk to about this? Do you still have contact with your Mom? Sorry if I am asking too many questions!

Sorry to hear the girl that you love hates you. Another question sorry, but is this based on fact or could it be that you are jumping to this conclusion because you are feeling very low and suicidal at the moment? When we are feeling bad, we often think the worst.

[finite-life]

i am always feeling suicidal. im not trying to be a downer but yesterday i tried to kill myself. and very little contact. my mom has pretty much abandoned me.

[finite-life]

i wouldnt be posting this but i dont know what else to do.

[Tig]

It's okay to post this.

I'm really sorry you are feeling so desperate at the moment and that yesterday you tried to kill yourself. Do you have any professional support or any crisis numbers you can call?

[finite-life]

no. i dont want help. my day is pretty much get up see where there are free spots where i can cut. and just cut all day and sleep. i havent even eaten in 2 days

[Tig]

Your day sounds very distressing and I can relate, although I am in recovery from self harm. My day consists of getting up to survive.

If you don't want help, then why did you post? That's not a criticism, I'm glad you posted but I'm just wondering why or if you mean, you don't want help because you believe you can't be helped?

[finite-life]

no like i want help. but if i tried to get it the effect it would have on the people who are close to me would be devastating

[finite-life]

if they found out

[finite-life]

and im a guy ha. sorry i just noticed that you called me lovely