During my last therapy session today, my therapist had all of my evaluations and he drew a "visual" of my brain, separated it into different parts, explained which part did which, and which parts were currently "shut off" or "working" at different times. This different parts of the brain are technically what I'd call alters, and what he'd call "parts" since, there's a ton of memory lapses and weird stuff going on when one part "shuts off" and another starts back up.
When he got to one "part", specifically, he called it the "memory trashcan". The part of the brain that all of the bad, and "unbearable" memories get thrown to, and not forgotten, but buried. Which, would suggest they are still there. It's messing me up right now, because I want to know WHY if these memories were buried... why are we trying to dig them back up?
It's making me feel uncomfortable, and it really hurts me. To know that I'm having my personal memories dug up like that. I don't know if I'm ready to know whatever happened in my past yet.
Hmm, good question. Maybe it would be worth mentioning it to your therapist, because if it's genuinely making you uncomfortable, then it might be best to avoid.
I know how you feel; my GP and various others have been trying trying to push me into counselling for about a year, and though I've agreed to assessments which deal with things in a matter-of-fact way, I wouldn't be comfortable discussing the emotional impact of the things I've been through.
Ultimately though, it's difficult to move on unless you really open up about your past.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I think that, like a lot of trashcans, the memory trashcan can become over-filled and un-productive. Especially if things have not been dealt with, or processed fully before they are put there.
Many therapist believe that you have to face these memories again in order to correctly deal with them and process them in a way that lets you let them go and not be as negatively affected by them. In doing so, you can reduce their long term effect and either forget, or safely store them.
As talaiporia says though, if you are unsure about this and it is making you worry, maybe you need to raise this in conversation with your therapist so that they understand where you are right now.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Because what happened in those memories had an impact on you, they are bound to resurface. It's not a choice whether they do or not, though it would be nice if it was. The memories won't just vanish without a trace. But when they do resurface in whatever form that may take, it'll be possible to work through the current effects of the past so that they won't negatively effect you so much in the future.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
i feel the same way about my memories.. especially the ones i cant remember at all ( the ones i remember bits and pieces ..before the bad stuff happened i think then the rest is a black void) the idea of knowing those really scares me.
but.. supossively remembering and working through it all and understanding things helps in the long run.. *shrug*
hang in there take care
Because what happened in those memories had an impact on you, they are bound to resurface. It's not a choice whether they do or not, though it would be nice if it was. The memories won't just vanish without a trace. But when they do resurface in whatever form that may take, it'll be possible to work through the current effects of the past so that they won't negatively effect you so much in the future.
I've never actually thought about it that way, thank you.
And thank you, everyone for your responses.
hidingme, yeah, I definitely feel the same way. I don't know, I hear that once you get passed the first time talking about it, it gets easier from then on out. I'm hoping that will be true in my case!
