My Mum

worriedson · 10-05-2011, 08:38 PM

To Note,this has happened a couple of times...

My Mum is 81 and her memory is not very good short term anymore and all of the time i sit downstairs with her watching tv unless i'm out up the town getting messages or on nights out with my friends .

Sometimes i go up to my room and some times not all lay on my bed and end up nodding off for a couple of hours and when i wake up like tonight the back of 8pm i came down stairs and she was coming up saying she was going to her bed,she felt silly sitting herself,terms like that and i say to her"Mum,i'm here lets go watch tv" words to that effect and she will keep saying" No,I'm going to my bed,fed up sitting myself".

What do i do???? Surely i get to go up to my room for well what ever??!.

I feel Gulity and i know i shouldnt.

Any Advice???.

xxhappydaysxx · 10-05-2011, 10:12 PM

You shouldnt feel guilty at all. You must be tired to drift off.

Could your mums friend/another relative come in a few times a week so you can go out and properly relax, and so that maybe when you are with youre mum it will seem proper time for the two of you?

Anyways sorry I dont have much to suggest, but remember you have nothing to feel guilty for, sounds like youre mum just gets a bit confused and short with you. But if some other people came in, she prob wouldnt mind being on her own for a bit, because she would have people with her throughout the day.

Take care.

worriedson · 10-05-2011, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxhappydaysxx

You shouldnt feel guilty at all. You must be tired to drift off.

Could your mums friend/another relative come in a few times a week so you can go out and properly relax, and so that maybe when you are with youre mum it will seem proper time for the two of you?

Anyways sorry I dont have much to suggest, but remember you have nothing to feel guilty for, sounds like youre mum just gets a bit confused and short with you. But if some other people came in, she prob wouldnt mind being on her own for a bit, because she would have people with her throughout the day.

Take care.

Thanks for the Nice Words,Nope it's just me with her. She does not mind me going out partying at the weekends at all and as i said most of the time i sit in the house with her watching tv but if i go up to my room for a bit and she is on her own downstairs well....you see what i've wrote happens:( but i'll try not to feel guilty thanks:)

worriedson · 10-05-2011, 10:39 PM

What MAKES me feel gulity when i know i shouldnt??

worriedson · 10-05-2011, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxhappydaysxx

You shouldnt feel guilty at all. You must be tired to drift off.

Could your mums friend/another relative come in a few times a week so you can go out and properly relax, and so that maybe when you are with youre mum it will seem proper time for the two of you?

Anyways sorry I dont have much to suggest, but remember you have nothing to feel guilty for, sounds like youre mum just gets a bit confused and short with you. But if some other people came in, she prob wouldnt mind being on her own for a bit, because she would have people with her throughout the day.

Take care.

I do worry a tremendous amount about my mum,her short term memory is not that good at all

Mrs Sam · 11-05-2011, 12:08 PM

could you get her something to do while you are upstairs? Such as a magazine, book, puzzle book or a craft activity?

worriedson · 19-05-2011, 08:05 PM

My Mum just did it again tonight:( i had a huge dinner and when i finished it at 6pm i told my mum i was going to up to my room to lay down on my bed for a bit to let my food get down/settle in my belly and i came out my room at 7.40pm and go dpwn stairs and she had all the Curtains darwn and i asked what was going n she said" I'm going to my med bed, im fed up of sitting on my own" and when i told her that o TOLD her i was going up to my room for a bit she just said "I'm Tired".

WHY is she doing this?????!?!?! i'm starting to feel i shouldnt go up to my room anymore:(:(

I went up to her room to have a heart to heart with her about this and i said is it because i go up to my room for a bit you go to bed and she said"No that's your bad mind, there is nothing on the tv and i get tired"

Kimaru · 20-05-2011, 09:25 AM

You have no reason to feel guilty about having a few hours to yourself to relax. Maybe it would help if you left her note someplace very noticeable for while you are in your room to remind her? Perhaps she just begins to feel lonely sitting by herself after a while, that doesn't mean that you should stop spending time in your room by any means though. From the sound of it, you are already being very supportive and are doing your best. You need to remember that if you don't have some alone time now and again, it could very well stress you out and that wouldn't be beneficial to either of you. Taking care of your needs should be kept as a priority as well as taking care of her needs.