I didnt know where to put this so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place. I have reached the point now where I want to try to recover, but I realised it's not something I'll ever be able to do alone. I am sick of being suffocated, drowning in either total numbness or sadness so overwhelming it is physically painful. My harming is off the scale at the minute, I feel like a maniac. I can't control myself and I'm scared that if not intentionally, I am going to cause something serious to happen to myself. I actually welcome it to happen, at least then I might find some peace, because I can't take this any more. I feel so broken. I've decided I'm going to try and get help, I'm at university at the minute, and the services are confusing me. Theres the doctors, and a mental health councelling service. I don't know which one I would approach first? Im confused, does anyone know which one I should see? Thankyou x
I think, unless you've got a wound that needs treated right away, the mental health counseling, since you have access to both. A doctor would (hopefully) recomend you see a counselor.
Thats very brave on you. :) Please stay safe and ask for help.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
It's great that you're thinking of seeking help.
I would see my GP because they can refer you to the best services within the mental health system and can also support you with physical stuff too.
Take care.
Oh yeah, if you haven't already, check your university's website and look at the information for both services. That may help you choose. You can always call one of the services and ask which you should use.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Thankyou all for your comments, I think the confusion is because how do i know if i need medication or not? But if i went to the mental health service first, hopefully they would have enough experience to know whether I did or not? eh it's all so confusing. Plus, i'm in my final year so i'm finishing in May. I'm really scared that i've left it too late to get help from uni. If i started getting help here now, wouldn't i just have to go through it all over again when i go back home? And there's a problem there, my stepmum is working at my doctors at home, which means if i have to see the gp at home to get referred to mental health...i'd either have to make more lies as to why i was there, or let them know that im not okay. They think im better of all of this, they think i got better years ago, when in fact. im worse than ever....life sucks :( x
Hmm. Well, I wouldnt want to start over with a new counselor either. Of course, at my college, they only give us short-term counseling anyways. But thats beside the point. Idk, I'd see someone at your school at least once, you don't want to wait till May to get any kind of help. And I'd hope a counselor would know enough to refer you to a doctor if need be. Of course, thats something you can tallk to them about. Or you can go the other route and hit the gp first to see about the meds firsthand.
Even if you were better at one point, for some people, depression comes back. Were they supportive of you last time?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Yeah my doctors at home were actually quite amazing compared to some peoples experiences on RYL. At the time though, I just wasnt ready to accept the help and so nothing really worked. Instead, I worked the system to make everyone stop worrying about me. Now, I'm 21, no one can force me to do anything and yet I have reached the place where I am ready to accept help and I want to change. This has taken over my life for almost 10years, I am ready to take those steps to change now. I don't know, why is it all so confusing...I will be making steps this week though no matter what, guess I will have to pick at random perhaps.. :( xXx
I'm glad you're going to take a step. I took waay to long to act too. Soon as I did, I wished I had much sooner. I'm doing soo much better now that I've had counseling and am on meds. Thats good that your doctors at home were supportive. Thatd make it easier to go back to them, yeah? Was your family supportive back then?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Im glad you're doing better, I guess when the time is right, therapy is good then huh? My family, well they are messed up. My dad, wanted help for me but is one to bury his head in the sand and believes emotions should be kept to yourself. My stepmum is nice on appearance, but tends to use my emotions to prevent me seeing my little brother and sister. I am really scared that if they find out I'm still struggling, it will stop them from letting me spend as much time with my little brother and sister. When in fact, they are therapy in themselves, kids are such little bundles of life, and I would do anything for them, when I am home they are amazing little creatures that keep me strong and remind me that they love me no matter what xXx
Well, I'm backsliding a bit now. But for a different reason. Aah thats great that you have amazing siblings. :) But bad that you're dad and stepmom would use them in that way in your life. :( Idk, but if you're ready help, you ought to get it somewhere. Idk how insurance and all that works over there, if you'd have to go to the doctor where you're stepmom works. I finally took myself to a doctor last year. Parents never noticed anything and didn't really react much when I told them.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
