The Home Treatment Team are going to discharge me from their care the first week in the new year. I have been seeing them since I was in hospital which is 6 weeks ago now. They told me at the beginning that I would only have 6 weeks with them, but now I know exactly when their support is going to end, I'm feeling a bit scared and anxious.
I suppose I'm worried because it took me quite a long time to trust the HTT because I have trust issues. There was only really one worker from the HTT that I had opened up to and the others, well I liked them all, but I just didn't find them so easy to speak to. Nevertheless, I had begun to really rely on them as I was able to ring them 24/7.
When their care finishes, I am going to be seeing someone in the community (a care co-ordinator). I've met him twice now and he seems nice but I'm really afraid I won't be able to open up to him. I suppose I'm a little bit concerned about him being a man, although he seems so nice that I wouldn't want to ask for a woman as I could get someone horrible!
I'm also afraid that I'm going to go down hill again and I will have no-one to turn to. I will have my care co-ordinator but he doesn't know my history (yet) and I don't trust him (yet). I'm also worried as usually January is a bad time of the year for me.
Hmm... I know it's silly but when I think about it I just get upset... I have just lead a really lonely life and well, having the HTT come in was really important to me. Their appointments sort of got me through the week. I will see my care co-ordinator once a week (maximum) but I'm not sure that's going to be enough for me. Am I being stupid? Thanks!
I don't think you are being stupid. I was discharged from the HTT two or three weeks ago after seeing them for about 2 months after hospital and I was really scared. I was also seeing a new care co-ordinator. I am still finding things difficult now without their support but you will get used to dealing with things. Sometimes I think HTT can become a hinderance to recovery after a while because they take a lot of the responsibility away and part of recovery is dealing with that responsibility yourself. I was told it is normal to feel worse for a little while after they discharge you. Remember that you will still be able to phone your care co-ordinator if you are struggling and there will be an out of hours crisis number you can phone if things are really bad as well.
Thank you Pomegranate. I feel a little bit better now knowing that someone else was in a similar situation and got through it. It's just a scary time. I know I am a lot better than I was 6-8 weeks ago and that it is time for the HTT to discharge me, but I still feel like I need a lot of support. I hope I get along with my care co-ordinator and I trust him enough to ring him in an emergency. I had also forgotten about the crisis team, although I have to say, I've only really had bad experiences with them.
I've had some really bad experiences with the crisis team and also a couple of really good ones. They are a fall back though I guess (even if not an ideal one!). Have you thought about asking your care co-ordinator if it might be possible for you to see a support worker as well? Most, if not all CMHT's have support workers working with them and that would give you someone else to talk to and also someone else you would trust if your care co-ordinator was not about for any reason. I am supposed to see mine once or twice a week, although in reality she has been off a lot so I've only met her once. Might be worth you asking though?
I was also going to suggest asking about a support worker - mine was brilliant when I was discharged from the Home Treatment / Crisis team, it really made a difference to know that someone else is there, and it helped me get out of the house etc, we would go and do 'normal' things once or twice a week, and yeah it was really useful after having such intensive support for quite a while.
I understand that it will be difficult, and I don't want to downplay that at all, but do try to remember that they're able to discharge you because you are better than you were before, which is great! And there are still people there for you; your care co-ordinator, I'm sure, and although I'm sorry you've had negative experiences with the crisis team, remember that it is an option if you need help out of hours. Also the usual helplines etc etc. Maybe before you're discharged they could help you come up with a plan of what to do when you're struggling.
You said you have quite a lonely life and I can really relate to that - earlier this year it was very similar for me, I wouldn't see anyone other than my parents for weeks and they were generally out when I was awake so my life kind of revolved around visits from the crisis team a bit! I don't know your situation but maybe there is something you could do that would make things a bit less lonely and hopefully make the change in the level of support you get less difficult - like a few hours volunteering, or joining some kind of group / activity (maybe there is even something available for people with mental health problems?). I don't know if it's something you could do but it made a real difference for me.
Good luck, take care of yourself. I hope things go okay xx
Thanks for your reply Starling. You're right, I am better than I was before, although I feel like the change has only been in the last week so I suppose I'm a bit worried I'll go backwards again but hopefully not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starling.
I don't know your situation but maybe there is something you could do that would make things a bit less lonely and hopefully make the change in the level of support you get less difficult - like a few hours volunteering, or joining some kind of group / activity (maybe there is even something available for people with mental health problems?). I don't know if it's something you could do but it made a real difference for me.
I am actually going to be doing some voluntary work for an organisation that was set up to get people with mental health difficulties back into work, so actually I will be with people 2 days a week, which I acknowledge as being something really positive, although I am absolutely terrified of doing it! (I suffer from anxiety so meeting new people is a real difficulty. I'll also have to get the bus to get there, which I hate doing!) That starts the first week in January, so I guess just as the HTT discharge me, I will be starting this work so perhaps I will feel ok if I am kept busy. Also I'll be seeing my care co-ordinator once a week and also my psychologist, so that's 3 possibly 4 days out of 5 that I will be receiving some support in one way or another.
I guess when I write it down like this then I can see I will have lots of support. I suppose what's worrying me is that I'll be starting again. I'll have to get to know new people again whereas the HTT know me well now, but I have always known that this support was coming to an end and of course I can't rely on them forever. I just know it's going to feel a bit strange and I think I will feel a bit 'unstable' for a while when this support is removed.
Thanks for listening guys. I know it's a bit stupid to be worrying! xx
I honestly don't think it's stupid at all - I think it's bound to be difficult but it does sound like you're trying really hard and have positive things lined up to help with the transition. It's hard changing like that and having to learn to trust new people but hopefully if you have things in place to make it a bit easier it won't be too bad Good luck :) xx
