sweetie you have every right to feel like crap about what he did to you..and yes it can be called abuse. he was doing stuff to you without your consent, and he was at the age where he definately knows right from wrong. and as you said yourself, he was taking advantage of you.
have you spoken to anyone about this? counselling might be a good thing hun.
take care xoxoxox
Do not follow the common path.....go where there is no path and leave a trail.....
*hugs* i dont think it matters how old he was, or if he knew right from wrong (which at that age he should) if he was abusive towards you then its abuse. regardless of age. like you said he was taking deliberate advantage of you. anyone making you do things against your will, be if by force or manipulation is abusing you.
i hope youre ok xx
My abuser was the same age as me (give or take a few months). It was still an sexually abusive relationship, no matter what the age of him was. I remember a particularly bad science lesson *shudders*.
I firmly believe it is something wrong in their brain that they are born with. Age has nothing to do with it, although some are better at suppressing it until they are much older than others.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Well, I didn't really have objections cuz I was a really insecure kid and any attention was good. I know I never told him "no", never even thought it, actually, but it just really f***s me up to think he actually knew what he was doing.
Actually, scratch that. I did tell him "no" once, and he agreed (it was late at night on a sleepover) but we woke up in the morning and started again.
All these years I thought he was a curious kid who knew a bit sexually, thought up games to play and that we played them in a twisted sort of innocence...but thinking he did any of it on purpose, deliberately taking advantage of my insecurity -- and it seems really likely, in retrospect. When it was only he and I, I was fun to be around, we'd do things. When our other friend was around, I was the odd one out. They both knew that I hung on their every word so they'd purposefully take advantage of me (in non-sexual ways, just playing normal unsick games.)
And just seeing him talk to people (because he's a member of my extended family, we see him fairly often) is painful because I can see this calculating, cold mind behind it all. Everything he's putting up is a facade....and that just clutches my heart. A few days ago it did right as I was kissing my girlfriend and....oh, it hurts.
I feel weak.
"When I was a little kid, my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did..."
*hugs*
I kinda understand hun. My abuser was the same age as me too, a few months older, and I didn't really get a chance to say no either. It's a horrible thought that there are children out there who are already absuers, that they have already hurt people. He was in the wrong, and even though it was a horrible experience that no one should have to go through, it's over. Maybe you can't ever forget about it, but you can come to terms with it after a fashion.
I agree that you should get some counselling if you havent already had any. You can get through this hun, you have everyone on RYL behind you. You're so much stronger than you think you are. *hugs*
take care and stays safe doll.
xxx
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
I've heard it said that many times when a child is abusing another child it is because they have been abused themselves and therefore think it is okay or something.
But whatever the reason, it is still abuse and can still be damaging, and I'd suggest that you find a therapist to talk to about it.
You aren't weak, you are allowed to feel hurt. I'm sorry that it happened to you, and I hope you can find yourself someone who can help. *hugs*
Why after everything can I just not forget and move on?
Why after feeling more content does everything crash down around me and I start to hate myself again?
What's a girl to do when she's not strong
When everyone who holds my hand gets cut from all the thorns
I just want to second everything that's been said above. No matter what age he was, it still classes as abuse if you didn't want it to happen. And although you say you didn't say no (apart from once) he should have been able to tell from your body language at the time that it was something you didn't want. Because if it was something you agreed to, it wouldn't be upsetting you the way it is now. I'm sorry it happened to you hun, and I hope in time you can come to terms with it.
