I just thought i would try online dating as im way to nervous to go out to a bar and say hello to girls because im scared they will properly scream and think im some sort of werido .. And even if they did reply i wouldnt no what to say ( Im way to shy)
Well anyway i have just joined a online dating site (www.okcupid.com) Its free so i thought i would try it out .. And i no this sounds stupid but i see girls profiles that i like .. So when i go to message them i have no idea what to say ?? Hello how are you is too boring and creepy so i normally just see if i have anything in common with them and talk about that..
Well i sound really stupid .. But im not really getting any replys from the girls i message .. Am i too boring ? Being to pushy or werid ? .. I put in my profile that im shy and caring and kind (Which i think its true) .. Is that a put off ? I just try to write about me .. Am i doing it wrong or should i really just get out more ?
I dont no what to think =/
Any advice would be helpfull either positive or negative
Hmmm =/
Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be? — Charles Bukowski
We all wear masks everyone everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are - Nikita
In my honest opinion, I really think that online dating is forcing it, if you know what I mean. I truly think that you really find love in the most random places, and going online and hunting for love is trying a little too hard. Anyone can find someone in real life, you just need to put yourself out there. I met my boyfriend at a hotel party, of all places, haha.
That being said, some people really think that their only option is meeting people online.
Let me just give you the advice that saying "hey...how are you, what's up?" is not very interesting at all, and I probably wouldn't respond to just that. Say something that would catch her interest, without being creepy. I would probably say something along the lines of "Hey, you're a very pretty girl and seem like you'd be fun to hang out with, what's up with you today? Hit me back if you'd like to get to know me, I'd love to chat!".
Or something like that.
Be interesting, but don't be creepy.
Hope I helped!
Also i would stay clear of the free ones, thoese are full of dodgy people. At least even if you have to pay, people who are dodgy wont want to pay to use it. It works for some people and not for others.
Or even just be like Hi i read your profile and would like to chat?
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I met my boyfriend online, it wasn't a dating website it was just a chat room and things developed from there. We live together now and things are going great. So I wouldn't say meeting people online never turns out right, it turned out well for me. (Admittedly I didn't go online with the intention of meeting someone)
I think if you start a message with something original and personalised it might give people more incentive to reply. You can personalise messages by referencing something on their profile, a like/dislike/hobby/profession they talked about. You could message people with similar interests and talk about that.
Some people believe online dating might be harder for men than women as men are generally expected by society to make the first move.
I think as long as you're sensible and try and weed out the nutters it can be a good experience :)
keep away from it ,i have been raped as a result of online dating.i put pictures up ,and im pretty attractive ,nobody answered my messages .the guys i met were shocking ,ugly couldnt converse .i had the worst nights of my life with these freaks.you are prob normal so i would avoid online daying ,most are looking for sex and will do anything to get it .ppl will say oh dont listen to her but i met over 30 guys and all were looking for sex.
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
guys tend to reply to 40%-70% of every girl that messages the, on the dating sites. Girls can be extremly picky. I know that many girls tend to reply very selectivly or selectivly and guys tend to reply "often" don't ask why I just noticed that.
So don't take it personal, I have no clue what you look like or act like but many decent looking normal guys that are average looking, good looking or even really attracticve run into that on sites like okcupid and match.com allot of guys are expirencing what you do on those sites!
Hope this helps :)
Last edited by Habibi : 02-11-2010 at 10:30 PM.
♫Psycho chick, psycho babe, psycho person, psycho ways, psycho in the car, psycho in the bar, psycho in the far, psycho on the ceiling, psycho on the floor psycho just can't take it any more!!!♫
take it from me .I have replied to EVERY message anyone has ever sent me because I am polite .men are not the same.I have been ignored.The worst thing however which happened to me was not even been drug raped.it was a guy i met on a friendship site i went onto to make friends.This guy spent two whole years wheedling his way into my life.He everntually got onto my facebook and msn ,This is not something I do to strangers you have to understand.he chatted to me night after night ,for hours at a time.I gave him my phone number after TWO years .We met he was very nice .he was too clever for me and I ended up in his house which is in the middle of nowhere and I couldnt get a taxi.So I slept in his bed .I ended up having sex with him .He seemed fine.drove me home the next day ,kissed me and siad Ill text u later.
I never heard from him in any way form or shape.I texted him after three weeks concerned .he saod his life was in danger and I would die if he kept in contact with me.
A simple 'I dont like you' would have sufficed.
This hurt me on levels I cant even explain.To spend two years scrounging into someones life than to use them like that,it beggers belief
I hope he dies screaming
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
keep away from it ,i have been raped as a result of online dating.i put pictures up ,and im pretty attractive ,nobody answered my messages .the guys i met were shocking ,ugly couldnt converse .i had the worst nights of my life with these freaks.you are prob normal so i would avoid online daying ,most are looking for sex and will do anything to get it .ppl will say oh dont listen to her but i met over 30 guys and all were looking for sex.
Out of curiosity, did you use free sites or paid sites?
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
One persons negative experience can not be the voice of the thousands of people that use dating sites.
I think that as has been said before.. you just need to be careful.
And at least if they arent messaging you back you havent had to go to the hassle of buying them a drink or anything before you find out they arent interested.
Bleeding angle I used sites which were paid but as a woman I got it free so the guys paid .Plus another site I didnt pay cos I joined ages ago then they introduced pay so everyone had paid but me as my membership was still valid .So neither were free sites as such .I just abused the system
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
Thoese kind of sites still seem dodgy. I think if you do decide to go down this route its best to use a well known paid site, obviously you cant get rid of every numpty, but it weedles them down pretty quickly, as people who are serious will pay.
The free ones and ones even where woman get in free are very dodgy, lots of dodgy people one then because its free, obviously it depends if you want to pay or not.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Im not being smart but have you actually used any dating sites ,if not then how would you even know .Plus have you ever met someone off a site .it has nothing to do with paying ,Every guy i evr met paid and look at them
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
How do you mean offline .maybe its the irish guys but the one who hurt me the most was from england so
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
edit - as in meeting people online then meeting them outside the internet.
as in real life, however im not going to discuss this anymore because its hyjacking the ops thread.
Good luck op and let us know how it goes.
Last edited by Bleeding Angel : 03-11-2010 at 12:49 AM.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
are you trying to say where they are from depends on how they act?? dating sites work for somepeople and sometimes not for others as said further back... yes you can meet lovely people but also at the same time you can meet someone horrible, those kinda sites have information for keeping safe and meet in public places etc.... i dont think dating sites are a bad idea.
good luck with finding someone,
even try and join a friend thread and meet people in your area as friends
you never know what might develop out of it, and also those people tend to meet up in groups for drinks etc....
<3 <3 <3 Love you with all my heart baby girl. I miss you so much 21/11/11 RIP beautiful
meeting someone in real life has nothing to do with meeting ppl from the internet
i was trying to define yet everyone of them were horrible so maybe I have use me to death written on my forehead
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
meeting someone in real life has nothing to do with meeting ppl from the internet
i was trying to define yet everyone of them were horrible so maybe I have use me to death written on my forehead
she met people offline meaning she talked to people online and met them offline, kinda like ryl meets, where u talk to them online then meet them offline, i think thats what she means
<3 <3 <3 Love you with all my heart baby girl. I miss you so much 21/11/11 RIP beautiful
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
<3 <3 <3 Love you with all my heart baby girl. I miss you so much 21/11/11 RIP beautiful
