hey everyone. I know there is a thread on here about sexuality discussions but I thought maybe I could get some simple advice from you guys here.
So, I am a gay christian living in a very conservative church group. I dont fit in with these people. I never have. In fact, no one but my closest friends and little sister know I'm a lesbain. However, my friends tell me that since I'm gay, I'm morraly not aloud to enter a relationship. They say "its what the Bible says". I don't agree but if I tell them that, I will lose my friends. Sometimes I think their right. Sometimes i think their wrong. But then I see people in love and I want it so bad. It hurts to actually see it. I don't know what to do.
I know I'm not asking anything specific here and this is more of a rant then anything, but what do u guys think? I'm going out of my mind trying to compensate for this part of my life in other ways when all i want to do is dwell deeper into my feelings. Are there other people like me out there? Sometimes it seems like I'm all alone in this and I can't talk to anyone.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.
"Gomenasai for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai til the end, I never needed a friend like I do now. " - Tatu
I'm not a Christian, but I used to be, and I used to have that kind of confusion wen I was younger. There are a lotta things the Bible says to do or says is wrong, and ppl ignore it. Because they dont know, because they dont care, or because they feel differently. In my own eyes, I dont see how two ppl being in love is a sin, but obviously for some ppl it isnt always about love. I think you should draw your own lines. Think about if you really believe it's a sin or really believe you'll be punished for it or anything. Think about whether or not you'd be willing to have a relationship that you believe is wrong according to the Bible (if you do believe it's wrong). Dont let the idea of religion limit your own individuality and happiness. Obviously that doesnt mean everyone should disregard any morals and principles they have, but you need to find out what's right for you, regardless of what ppl say. People arent God, so they cant define right and wrong. Only you can make your own opinion on that.
As a Christian, I don't see anything wrong with you being in a relationship with another girl. I have met a lot of people with the same feelings but they all decided, "Screw it, if I'm in love, I'm in love, the Bible can't tell me if I'm allowd to love another girl/guy or not."
If you're gonna lose your friends over the fact that you're dating another girl, then they're not really good friends. If you want to date another girl, go for it.
It must be hard to feel so out of place - I hear you. It's really brave of you to admit to your friends that you're lesbian, that must've taken guts to do!
I hope you don't let their opinion influence you too much. I realise that's difficult when all the people around you think differently - but it doesn't mean you're wrong.
If you feel strong enough, could you discuss this with your close friends? I'm not a christian, but I've read a good portion of the Bible, and really, homosexuality is barely mentioned. Most of the arguments stem from ONE sentence in the Old Testament. The Old Testament also says it's right to enslave people, to execute them, you name it. Maybe some of your friends would be open to the possibility that the Bible and God are not 100% the same? I don't mean to challenge their faith, mainly the details. A lot of people haven't actually read the Bible thoroughly, but claim to know what's in there on hearsay.
All I can say is, don't give up on who you are. It wouldn't be a wise move to flaunt it right now, I admit, but don't let them get to you.
The bible says a lot of things, a lot of them contradicting. The bible was written hundreds of years ago, and the world has moved on a lot since them.
There is nothing wrong with you wanting to find someone to love and be loved back, that is human nature. Would you really want to worship a god that prevents that? Is that what your god wants for you? To live a miserable existence?
If you friends fall out with you because of a fundamental aspect of your self, then are they really good friends to have? It's not like you have sprouted a second head that spits out acid, you are still the same person.
I'm not a Christian (but was raised christian and went to Catholic school), but I would say that there is nothing wrong with you being with a girl if you love them. The bible may say it's a 'sin' to be in a homosexual relationship, but as has been said, it was written over a thousand years ago, times have changed drastically since then. The Bible also says that you can sell your daughter into slavery (Exodus 21:7) and that if you work on the Sabbath people are within their rights to kill you (Exodus 35:2), but times have moved on and we now know that this things aren't correct and shouldn't be abided by. So if you meet someone and you want to be in a realtionship, then I think that there is abslutely nothing wrong with this.
Also, it tends to only be the Old Testament that is more strict on what you aren't allowed to do. In the New Testament the main theme is to love your neighbour and treat others how you would like to be treated. Therefore it would be hypocritical and un-Christian to say that you are not allowed to be in a relationship with a girl.
I hope that you can sort this all out with your friends and family. Don't change who you are just in order to make others happy, because it will make you unhappy in the end. Take care
xx
Let me make something absolutely clear ok?
The bible is very contradictory, and religious views differ. Thus one Christian may say homosexuality is wrong, another will say it is perfectly ok. There are numerous mentions of homosexuality in the bible, and the majority of it is glorified, but not mentioned!
There is NOTHING wrong with being gay, and it is NOT in anyway a disrespect to Christianity :)
Ranted a bit there, but I hate it when people are made to feel they're doing something wrong when they aren't xD
Thank you everyone! You were all so right. I'm glad to have other people's perspective on this. I really appreciate everything you have said.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.
"Gomenasai for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai til the end, I never needed a friend like I do now. " - Tatu
