How do I get my point accross?

[Ami]

Hi, I havent been around for a while, so I feel kinda bad asking for help.

Basically, I'm under the care of Early Intervention Team, as I moved down south last September for college/uni.

In October I poisened myself and was in hospital for 3 nights and had to see Crisis Team.

Majority of nights in the past year have been spent me crying for 4+ hours a night.

In the past year, Ive been out socially probabaly about 5 times.

I stopped going into college the begining of this year and done nothing all day and night, petrified by voices and people and spies, and stoppped looking after myself. (shower once a week, very little calories a day, barely drank and was dehydrated, poured a bottle of chemical all over myself and head, left the house twice a week.)

And my team have been saying "ive been stable" and my mood and voices have dipped because of a medication. (things started before the medication, and theres no proof the medication even does anything anyways.)

I dont know how to get my point accross. Maybe that its true, maybe I have been fine. I dont know. i feel like this has been one of the worst years of my life. I feel completely disabled by this. I am so confused, I dont even know whats real. These people keep following me. I am struggling so much, I cant be here anymore.

People will control me and make me do bad stuff. I need to get rid of myself before I do harm to anyone.

I dont know what to do, I feel completely let down by EIP as they are same Im fine and I've been told I dont have any "problems" really. Which fair doos, things are obviously real then.

I dont want to see them anymore. Everytime I see them I feel disappointed that once again my point of that Im struggling just doesnt seem to register or be a problem. Ive written email to cpn and letter to psychatrist. My cpn says she's going to ring me and never does.

I dont know what to do. I feel completely hopeless and lost. Thinking about suicide more and more each day.

Sorry for moaning on. x

[startingagain]

Maybe try an advocacy service? x

[88shelz]

could you try teling them how this is making you feel?
im so sorry you have been struggling

[ThinkingofRecovery]

That sounds terrible Ami. Could you print out this post to show them?

[NeverBetter]

i agree u should show them this post
i am really appuled by te way they have treated you and so unfairley i an totally understand because of similar things,
if they dont listen after showing them this or straighting things out with them maye you should find different help and support ,
when some one need's help, you dnt ignore it im sorry you are and had to go throught this hugs

[moke]

Heya

Have you tried talking to the charity, Mind? They will basically fight your corner for you if you are having problems getting healthcare professionals to listen to you.

xxx

[moke]

eep double post :-/ sorry

[sherlock holmes]

Definately try going to Mind or an advocacy service in your area (try looking on the PALS- patient advice and liason service website).

[Ami]

Thanks, I may show them this, not sure whether it will make a difference.

I'm also going to look at mind and PALS. Just googling now, there are some good ideas.

Does anyone have any idea how I can cope in the menwhile?

xxx

[NeverBetter]

i suggest having friends or family close by
keeping yourself busy
jog/shopping/drawning listening to upbeat music
internet not looking at triggering this just postive things
hugssssxxxxxxxxxxxx