Guilty about pain etc.

[asc]

It was a combination of pain and loneliness which made me have occasional slips agan after being SH-free for over two years. Unfortunately I get very little effect from any painkillers, possibly because I metabolise them more slowly. I have no close family. My best friend is ill, so it isn't easy to see her - she is either in too much pain for her visitors or so zonked out by her painkillers that she can't! I eny her that she gets some effects!

I have a Sainsbury's delivery due soon, then I need to clean the big cage - I'll probably do it in two stages, and pay a quick visit to the town. I need to either speak to or see the vet about little Amber, my chesty girl. I can't get her to take things from my hand, as she thinks that my hand means antibiotics! The other girl has responded well. It is harder for Amber too because she is pink-eyed, so she can't see the food bowl until the others have emptied it.

I'm trying to do a bit of work at home - there are three things I've mislaid that I want during the next few days. I keep trying to do some work on the cluttering problem, but then slip back. I also ought to mix up some more food for my 'furries.' That means kneeling down on the floor - and getting up.

One of my big problems is feeling guilty and feeling that others can't believe I need a stick (let alone two occasionally) or am in pain. I'm told that I look quite a bit younger than 64. One of the people on the church minibus made it clear last year that she thought I was exaggerating my problems. That was when I only had the arthritic pain to contend with, and before the PMR (polymyalgia rheumatica) started. Most people have never heard of that unless they have one of the related auto-immune problems.

[dark faery princess]

Hey,
I've suffered chronic pain since the age of 12, so I know how you feel, though I don't think mine is as bad as yours.

I think you should see your doctor for some different medications, cos there's bound to be something out there to help. My mother suffered chronic back pain for 10 years and was on strong pain killers but they didn't work very well. It wasn't until she started getting nerve pain in her feet and was given something for it that she was relieved of the back pain. So might be worth enquiring. What do you take at the moment?

It might also be beneficial for you to try and get some kind of pain management counselling. You can often get a few weeks of sessions like you with normal cunselling and they will help you learn to deal with the pain. Or you could do what I did and go on a residential course.

I went to bath pain management clinic when I was 17. And eventually, over the years it has helped. It's not a magic cure all unfortunately, but it teaches you to... well... manage your pain so it doesn't impact on your life as much. It was 3 weeks and residential (you don't stay in the hospital though) might be worth looking into, and there are other clinics that do it too, however as it's residential spose it doesn't really matter where you go.

You could also try some alternative stuff like accupuncture or something as well if you're brave enough!

In regards to people not believing you... what do they know?? NOTHING. I had a horrible experience of people not believing me too, and it made me doubt myself, but you shouldn't. Only you know how much pain you are really in

x