Triggering (Suicide) - its been 7 months..

k26 · 20-05-2010, 10:40 PM

its been 7 months since the last time i tried to commit suicide.
its the longest period in over 2 years that iv lasted without trying to kill myself.
7 months ago i was sectioned after taking a major OD...things have been better and i hadnt thought about it so much, its the best id felt in years.
but...not the idea of OD'ing or doing something life thretening has been occupying my mind, constantly.
things have taken a turn for the worst. and i cant cope.
i cant.
no matter how positive iam, im breaking down left right and centre.
it is too much.
a lot has happened the past few months and i thought i was coping with it...i didnt really feel anything.
its hit me all at once and i cant do it.
im not really seeing anyone anymore just kind of phone and make an appointment if i need to but...i dont want to talk to them, i dont want them to know im doing bad, i dont want to worry people and i dont want help, i just want to disappear..quickly.

14MillionMiles · 21-05-2010, 12:25 AM

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice, but I want you to know that I'm here if you want to talk about or talk through anything at all.

Take care, and look how far you've come! xxx

crazykat · 21-05-2010, 02:51 PM

It sounds like your struggling alot, you don't have to deal with this alone. I think you should tell someone what's going on for you. Deal with it now before it gets out of control *Hugs*

Sunshine · 21-05-2010, 04:33 PM

7 months is so good! and i know its horrible when things have been sailing along nicely and then suddenly they take a turn for the worst but if you hang on and dont act on these feelings and thoughts you will go back to feeling ok and where suicide doesnt occupy your mind again! i know its really difficult and i cant really talk (the longest period i have ever been is 6 months) but at the moment im trying to live by that and just ride out my emotions untill they are abit more stablisied and rational

x

jen-x · 21-05-2010, 05:13 PM

You've been doing really well. It'd be a shame if you went off track now. Please don't deal with this alone. There are people there to help you when you're ready

jen xx

whirlpools · 21-05-2010, 05:56 PM

Everyone needs support. It's okay for you to ring up and ask for an appointment, just as it's okay for, say, your sister to if she felt like things were getting on top of her. Sometimes we all need someone to listen and offer support when we're struggling and that's what you need to do. I hope you don't resort to hurting yourself or killing yourself to try and escape what's going on, because the pain it will leave behind will far outweigh any pain that people experience as a result of you asking for help. I think they'd be pleased you reached out. And don't ruin your chances to have a life that's more free.

one_step_closer · 22-05-2010, 01:27 PM

Do you want to talk about what has been happening? We are all here to listen and feel free to PM me if you don't want to talk publically. Well done with lasting 7 months, that show that you can do this. Use the strategies that have helped you to get through the last 7 months and build on them.

k26 · 23-05-2010, 05:18 PM

thanks for all your replys.
im not sure what to do anymore, i know how much it would hurt my family if i did something, especially after everything iv put them through before.
i just feel so bad again. its like for the past 7 months iv been dreaming and iv just woke up and its like this again.
i mean, it wasnt hard...it just felt like i wasnt thinking or dealing with anything for that length of time. i was just kind of getting on with college and work and everything...but that was it. i wasnt feeling anything.
im not sure how much longer i can do this. things have got even worse since i posted this, i want to hurt myself so badly.