Relationships: in for the moment or consider the long term?

3nicky1 · 11-04-2010, 11:15 PM

I have a boyfriend, a lovely boyfriend that I think I love (I have never been in love so it's new and exciting but also scaryand I cant swear that its true).

I know this couldnt last and us waltz off into the sunset married with 2.4 kids and a picket fence but does this matter?

I'm worried about investing myself and my life with him even just for the short term when we could both be looking for the one. Am I being naive and old fashionedly short sighted? Should I just be happy with the what is or should I be on my own looking for the person I could spend my life with and letting him find someone he can be with?

makedamnsure · 12-04-2010, 01:55 PM

Thats a hard one. I sometimes feel the same. But I think the best bet is to enjoy being with the person you are with now. If you love him, or even think you love him then there is no reason not to stay with him. Being happy (as happy as possible) together is all that really matters.

If things change and you are unhappy; or even just not totally fulfilled with this person then move on.

Geranium · 13-04-2010, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by makedamnsure

But I think the best bet is to enjoy being with the person you are with now. If you love him, or even think you love him then there is no reason not to stay with him.

I think this ^^

Sometimes it's scary when you are with someone new especially if you think you are falling in love, and you can find all sorts of reasons to run away. But stick with it and see how it goes.

rockaroni · 13-04-2010, 03:37 AM

I think in a way living in the moment and taking things one day at a time can be a recipe for a long term thing. I met my partner at 16- we knew we were young, we never expected it to last, so we just took everything one day at a time and enjoyed each other. Now 5 and a half years later we're about to move in together, and are slowly talking about marriage and kids. I kinda don't think you need to think about the long term until it happens. Just enjoy the relationship, and what will be will be :)

CrazyHayley · 13-04-2010, 10:03 AM

well all I can say is "ditto"! but just wanted to post to add to the replies so that you know how some more of us are thinking.
You will know when/if it really is time to break up and move on. Doing it for the sake of it could end up being a mistake. Enjoy what you have together and take the path to the end - wherever that may be - as long as you are both happy at this moment in time. Everything happens for a reason, though its harder to go with the flow than question the reason. Sorry if I'm waffling.... enjoy what you have together and time will tell.