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Old 22-03-2010, 12:38 AM   #1
all_things_left_behind
striving for change for the better
 
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: USA
I am currently:
poetry*feed back please*

Y did u just leave me out in the dark
U left me alone with my broken heart
U don’t know how much I cared about u
I almost told u the 3 hardest words
“I love you”



[listen to the song that i sing, you'll be fine...<3]


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Old 22-03-2010, 12:32 PM   #2
FakeSmiles
No. Way. Out
 
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bacton aka nowhere :)
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I like it, it's quite short but sometimes poetry has to be I think. It's very honest and I think a lot of people can relate to it.
The one suggestion i would make however is that you don't use text-speak like "Y" and "U". I just makes it less attractive to the eye and makes it look like you aren't taking the writing seriously. That's my only criticism though :)

Take care xx



Amor est spiritus qui nos alet
Still just that broken little girl </3


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