fraud

[boobie]

this is how i feel ^^ as if its all a 'made up' game in my head. like non of the bad bits were real, like i just made them up, over reacted to the situation. i am not 'ill' just 'sick'. its all just lies, all of it.

but then there is a tiny little voice that says ' its not lies, you are just better for the moment, dont worry you will be ill again soon!' and this scares me! because it could be right, but if i beleive it then it means that i am still on the rollercoster which is my life just hoping and dreaming of getting off and still being able to stand when i do get off?

i dont really know what this means but it sums up my life at the moment and i dont know what to do???

[I.Heart.And]

Maybe it would be a good idea to focus on being happy that you are currently in remission. You know really that you have been ill but try to move away from worrying that you will be ill again soon. Do things to strengthen how well you feel now.
You aren't a fraud at all.
I think what you should do is enjoy being well and think of productive and positive things to do while you feel able and deal with any ill health if and when it happens

xx

[88shelz]

ive been stuck on this rollercoaster for over 10yrs now.
the thing im finding hard is accepting al the bad that happened to me even though im talkng through it.
have you any one you can speak to about what has happened to you and how it is making you feel right now.

if something has hurt you or upset you then it is real and it is a bad thing. dont make excuse - try and find solutions.