Possibly Triggering - Anyone else had the same thoughts?
I have been recovering from self injury for four years now. And have only injured a handful of times during those four years. Now for me, stopping the act of self injury didn't mean that I have recovered. I'm still psychologically addicted to it. I think about it every day, many times a day. I never thought that it would be like that when I first started to quit. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to completely recover from it. Any thoughts/similar experiences from you guys?
First of well, well done on the recovery! 4 Years is incredible and you should be very proud of yourself.
I can't say from personal experience that i know about this - as i'm only 3 months free at the moment - but i do know of others and i can understand that these thoughts and feelings will take such a long time to go away because it was such a big part of your life.
Do you have any professional support right now? Perhaps the likes of a counsellor may be able to address these issues and stop these thoughts arising in the future, to help you fully recover.
four years is amazing. i'm just 10 weeks free and so i still get all the thoughts, just like you. i'm holding on to the hope that one day we will be really free of SI and won't think of it. maybe for quite a long time we'll go on having it filling our heads, but there's got to be a point where it fades to being there is just the bad times, and then eventually there's a time when our head is so full of safer ways to manage difficult situations, that it doesn't even enter our heads. i think as long as there's space for them, the thoughts will keep coming back. me, i'm trying to fill up the space (rather unsuccessfully) with my plans and my faith, and maybe you can find something to fill up your head and life with. i don't know, just a thought.
wow, four years is great. i'm coming up on 3 almost completely free (some slip ups), and i can definitely say that i go in and out of still being psychologically addicted. from everything i've heard, it's quite possible to completely recover, it just takes a lot of time and, most importantly, finding other coping mechanisms to replace it with. for me, initially, i didn't have any replacement strategies, so i found myself still psychologically involved. later, i became involved in running and expanded my social capabilities and both of those things helped enormously. unfortunately, i'm struggling a bit right now, but i feel like this is probably due to those coping mechanisms both being unavailable right now, since i can't exersize due to knee injuries and recently went to uni, so not too many new friends yet. BUT, what i'm trying to say is that it really is possible to recover nearly if not fully completely, it just takes time and continued concious effort.
take care,
chelsea
"the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." - elie weisel "the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'awww'" — jack kerouac
Yes, I've had those same thoughts rather a lot recently.
I quit harming in late January, and made it to early July before relapsing. It was only one small injury, but still, it was something. And now I've managed to get to the end of September, but the thoughts are definitely there. For having eight months of recovery under my belt, I still feel ridiculously impulsive.
"I asked the sun to tell me about the big bang. The sun said 'It hurts to become.'" -- Andrea Gibson, I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power Is Out
Thank you everyone for sharing. It does seem that it is quite common from what the replies say. All I have to say is it is great to hear such inspiring stories.
I am not sure that I would be SI if I didn't meet my partner and replaced SI with another coping mechanism at around the same time. So those were the things that kept me going.
I know what you mean. I've been working on this for about 8 years now. I slip-up every now and then and have had a few full-blown relapses. I'd say that time heals, but it doesn't. Time lets you know that you have strength. Keep fighting.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Four years is impressive :) it's completely normal to get thoughts like that if you have been doing it for such a long time.
i get that now still, sometimes its so strong that i cant ignore it but most of the time i do.
it may not seem that you'll be able to completely recover it, but you will, it'll just take a long time as self-harming is a big thing and is very addictive.
I'd say your doing wonderfully and that i know you'll manage to stay strong :) xo
