She asked if I had eaten yet, and if not, if I wanted to go out to eat with her. I said sure because I was sick of lying and making up stories about where or what I ate. I was scared to death, but I decided when I got there I would tell her. She would probably figure it out anyway when I only put a few pieces of food on my plate (we went to a buffet).
So, I told her.
She took it well, I knew she would. I am blessed to have her as a mother. She's been with me through thick and thin and she tries to support me in any way she can. She said she had a feeling I had an eating disorder, but she didn't know for sure. It has gotten really bad lately, though...
Anyway, I guess this is good news. I regreted it right as it was coming out of my mouth, though... because now she knows. Now it will be awkward any time I eat anything. And if I go purge.... she will have a feeling... she said she wouldn't try to stop me because she knew that would just make it worse, make me not tell her anymore and get more secretive about it. But still... anytime we eat together... ergh. I don't know.
But anyway... now she knows.
I really admire your courage to do that...I really hope that it's a positive step towards recovery for you.
Much love, take care <3
"That is why, for Christ's sake,
I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong"
(2 Corinthians 12:13)
When you feel your life aint worth living
Youve got to stand up and
Take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
Keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin its time to die. ---Blind Melon---
Thank you so much... that really makes me feel better about the whole thing. My mother is the best thing in my life. I don't think I'd be here right now if I didn't have her support. It's getting easier as the days pass that she knows. But thank you so much, you have no idea how much these posts help..
