*Possibly triggering* Mercy and I

[Olive branch]

Okay, this is going to be a longish post.

I have a person inside my head, her name is Mercy. She looks after me and is my friend but she likes it when I am hurting or when I hurt someone else. Sometimes she tells me things but most of the time we just talk to each other, come to a middle point, a comprimise.

Last night I was talking to someone and he was making me feel very angry and I didn't really know what to do, I told him he was hurting me but he didn't stop. And I sort of could tell that my personality was being taken over by hers.

I'm missing like three hours of my life where Mercy talked as me, the conversation was on msn so he sent it to me afterwards and I don't remember writing it.

I don't understand, if I wanted to have her in control it's always been my choice and normally it's only for 5 minutes or so, it means I am able to leave stressful situations from time to time.

She told him all about herself, I didn't ever want anyone to know this.

I feel really sick and I don't think I can talk to the guy again. He says it's no big deal but, come on.

I'm just terrified of it happening again and I'm embarrassed too.

Help?

[Horizon]

Do you have any professional support? While Mercy may be able to help you separate yourself from distressing situations, this defense mechanism isn't healthy and can, as you've experienced, backfire when it is not in your control.

[Olive branch]

I have a therapist but Mercy tells me I'll be hurt if I tell her.

[sherlock holmes]

You definately need to tell your therapist about Mercy, this is not something to keep to yourself.

[_plastic]

Mercy is only in your mind hun.

I know she seems very real.But she isn't real and she can't hurt you.

Your therapist should know please stay strong you can beat Mercy.

If you don't get rid of her soon It'd get really bad.

Take care and stay safe x x

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Do you still have these problems aswell?

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...d.php?t=103960

[Olive branch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by no reason

Do you still have these problems aswell?

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...d.php?t=103960

Yeah I do.

[Olive branch]

I don't think I can tell anyone. I'm scared of losing her. I'm scared of Mercy but I think I need her.

[_plastic]

You don't need her.

Tell someone who can help you out.

xxx

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olive branch

Yeah I do.

Have you told your team about all those things but just not Mercy?

EDIT: I don't mean "just" as if it is something small.

[Olive branch]

No, I told them sometimes I hear voices, that they can be horrible and nice depending on their moods.

[ThinkingofRecovery]

You need to tell them everything hun. I know it seems real but Mercy can't do anything. The sooner they know everything, the better. Could you print out your posts?

[Olive branch]

She'd be really mad I hadn't already told her and Mercy might do something bad. She is already asking me to hurt myself.

[earthbound_misfit]

You must tell them about mercy hunny... She is not real and you are you are sooooooooooo much stronger!
You must tell them. Mercy is lying if she thinks it'l hurt you cos she doesnt want you to get better.
Tell them. Pm me when you have i'll be here all weekend
Beth x

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Quote:

Originally Posted by earthbound_misfit

You must tell them about mercy hunny... She is not real and you are you are sooooooooooo much stronger!
You must tell them. Mercy is lying if she thinks it'l hurt you cos she doesnt want you to get better.
Tell them. Pm me when you have i'll be here all weekend
Beth x

^This^

I hear voices and they scare the **** out of me but I always remember that I need to hold onto the fact that they CAN'T be real. Hang on in there.

[Olive branch]

I really don't think I can tell anyone, I'm really scared.

I'd rather just deal with it on my own that have to tell anyone about her. She does love me just sometimes she finds it hard to show it.

I don't want to hurt her.