I'm recovered now the last 7 months (yay!) but the thing is, I'm still always hungry and it's getting worse. Is it maybe cos my body is afraid of being starved again so it's trying to get as much food as possible? It's just really annoying and I'm starting to feel that if I'm gonna be hungry anyway then I may as well just not eat. I don't like thinking like that, it scares me. I don't want to go back to ed, I know that. I'm just sick of being hungry all the time when I'm eating properly.
Thanks but I thought it would have settled by now. I mean what's the point of eating if I'm still gonna be hungry all the time? The reason I recovered was my boyfriend and he's gone now so what's the point anymore, I could be thin again and then it wouldn't matter that he's gone and I could think about ed instead of him. I know this isn't good but I can't help thinking this way, just what's the point of anything anymore. I can't find my scales and I'm joining the gym today and it would just be so easy to slip back into it all now I'm not occupied by him. I'm so sorry, I just don't know what to do, it's so tempting.
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I was never good enough at my ed. My pysch said I didn't have one and even when a different psych and the dietician said I was underweight my mam still said I was fat. I'm not good enough at anything. Maybe this time I can be good enough. I'm hungry now but it's a good hunger, from not eating. It just makes sense, if I'm gonna be hungry anyway then I may as well not eat. Anyway I don't deserve to eat, I'm a bad person, I'm hurting my ex, he was close to breaking down yesterday because of me. How could I hurt someone I love? I kept telling him how much he meant to me but it wasn't enough, I wasn't enough. Horrible horrible me. I hate being so negative and feeling sorry for myself, I just feel so sad today. I'm sorry. I hate myself for being like this, so weak. I'm just so sorry.
There is no such thing called 'being good at the ED'..
ED is a dangerous disease that should be taken lightly,your mam was wrong when she told you you are not sick enough,I don't think she understands whats like to have an ED and how dangerous it would get.
Please keep fighting those feelings hon.
And,make sure you drink enough amounts of liquids cuz the brain translates thirst as huger sometimes.
Hope your doing okay =] x
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
When you don't eat, the body gets into starvation mode. Once the body gets food in it again, it doesn't know when it's going to be able to eat again so it wants to stockpile. Depending on how underweight you were (do not answer this and give a number - I'm just stating facts) the body could be freaking out.
Make sure to drink water though. As someone said, hunger is sometimes actually thirst.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
3 or 4 years. That's what I figured was happening, I just wanted to check. I'm sorry for being so negative and down yesterday, I guess I'm just upset about the breakup and it's easier to focus on ed. I dunno what will happen now but I'll try be more positive.
Sorry I don;t have any advice right now but keep fighting.
Don't be sorry for feeling down and being negative, we all do it from time to time. Just pick yourself up and keep fighting ED. You've proven you can :)
Thanks everyone, I'm feeling much better today, I made up with my boyfriend and I ate properly today. It just made me so sad to feel I might be slipping back into ed, but I know I won't now. Hopefully I never will, no matter what happens.
I just want to say in regards to my post about not being "good enough" at ed, that I thank my lucky stars every day I wasn't, cos it might have killed me if I was. Be strong everyone.
I think it's pretty natural to have those thoughts and feeling throughout recovery, 'why am I bothering if......', and I think they are understandable; as long as they aren't given into. It's hard to be in a constant battle with your mind, but you sound like you are doing amazingly well, really, really well.
It's rough that you fell out with your boyfriend, but I'm pleased you have made up. Try not to use your eating as a control, it's really hard as it's something that you've been so used to doing for so long, but try to handle those emotions in a different way - I KNOW it isn't easy!! It takes time too, you're seven months in, which is fantastic, but it's ok to have blips and things, that's normal and part of recovery. Just get back on that road and work back up. xx
Also, you may be a little more hungry as time goes on, your body may need a little more food, I know that's probably a really scary thought, but sometimes it just needs to be edged up a little. Do you have any support at all? xx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
as already said it would be good to have a dietician to help you with a meal plan. your body will be reajusting to food again. its like maths. you do it all through school and it feels so easy - when you stop the maths though and do it again several years later it doesnt come so easy. keep eating regualarly with small but filling meals. drink lots of water to keep thirst away and keep busy so that you dont become bored and eat from boredom. x
I don't like thinking like that, it scares me. I don't want to go back to ed, I know that. I'm just sick of being hungry all the time when I'm eating properly.
