what did you do when your parents found out about your SI?
Were you open about it? Tell them why? Stop hiding your cuts around them?
I still hide mine and haven't talked to my family about it, I shut the subject off as soon as it's raised and now they tend to leave me alone, just wondering what happened with others
Xx
When my parents found out, I cried a whole lot. They forced me to show them my cuts, and you cannot believe how much that impacted me. They told me I could talk to them about it anytime, but of course I never do. I brought it up once this year, but my mom dismissed it just like that. Though they asked why, and where I got the idea from, I couldn't tell them. What did I actually do after the fact that they found out? I 'stopped'. My parents think it wasn't a big problem, but obviously since I still SI, it is. That was over a year ago.
I cried and plead with the shrink not to tell my mother. I was at a teaching hospital and the resident was willing to consider not telling my mother. However (I was 18 at the time, for the record and NOT suicidal or in danger) he had to call in his supervisor. The jerk yelled at me and
The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger
asked me if I wanted my mother to find out by finding me "in a pool of blood" and the more I sobbed the louder he yelled.
When they finally did tell my mother, her response? "Oh. I heard about that on Dr. Phil." Yeah. Then my mother would randomly shove up my shirt sleeves at any given moment after she found out to see if I had been cutting.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
Hey.
Well my dad was tipped off by this cow who wanted him to like her, so he searched through my bedroom and found some objects that gave it away.
He kept saying "oh honey" in this infuriating voice like I would spontaneously combust. I refused to talk about it. If they brought it up I told them to shut up. I told them I quit but really didn't. They did body checks which were seriously the most violating, degrading thing ever.
It was awful.
NOW though, we are pretty open about it, I haven't done it in years and I wear clothes that show my scars and it comes up in conversation and they are really as supportive as I can expect them to be with it.
Last edited by loveishere : 30-06-2009 at 02:10 AM.
Reason: grammatical error
well after they found out the cops came for me. I called my friend and she called the cops on me. The cops took me to get evaluated and my parents freaked out. They still dont understand my cutting
your tears dont fall they crash around me- bullet for my valentine.
My parents still dont know. I think it'd break my mums heart. I wish i could just be honest and tell them cos i am recovering now and i dont have too much of a problem discussing it if other people ask but not with my family. Then i just revert back to being a child, but then i am their littler girl, :/
My mum shouted at me, a lot. Refused to let me have my own space, and forced me into councelling, and then never mentioned it again.
I pretended I'd stopped a few weeks later. She often made me show her my arms and legs though. But she never once tried to talk about it.
So yeah, I just pretended I'd stopped.
I lived with her another three years after that, and I'd never stopped, I just got better at hiding everything.
My dad though, has been fantastic. He admits that he doesn't really understand how I can do it, but he understands why I do, and helps me look after myself, and lets me have my own space when I'm feeling bad. The complete opposite of my mum really.
I cried.
A lot.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I told my parents myself, as I felt I had to. I was getting a job with short sleeves, and was worried.
They already knew I was depressed and seeing a psychiactic therapist. (I told them this months previous.)
I told my mum in private, I sat down and just explained. I almost cried whilst telling her, which is strange because I am incapable of crying, sad, I know.
She cried, she asked if she had been a bad parent, and if her and my dad did anything to make me do it.
I explained that they did nothing, and that my childhood was as good as could be.
I was already seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychiactric nurse, and the crisis team, before telling them.
She was helpful, she asks me how I'm doing almost every day, and she attempts to give me self harm alternatives, or distractions like Ice etc.
My dad has no idea what to say, and generally keeps quiet. He tries every now and then though.
They were both fantastic, my mum works at a hospital and gets me first aid stuff. (I never use it, however...)
She gives me the odd lift to doctors appt's etc, and says if I ever need to talk, she's there.
I believe my parents have been fantastic with it. They do both however work in a mental health hospital, so they know a bit about it, albeit not very much.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
dad, and dad's side of the family showered me with presents and money.
and that was that. dad has worked with self harmers in prisons for 20years and sees it every day so he understands it.
not complaining as i got a mint laptop, but i wish they hadn't as i didn't want sympathy or rewarding.
mum, was angry i hadn't told her sooner, and we're now not as close as we were, and i don't see her as much. but she says she loves me and is there for me.
Well my mum had been cleaning my room and found a wipe full of blood and a blade. She just said go and show it to your dad now. So i did he asked what was it for and I told him to take a wild guess. He guessed. I cried while telling him. He cried. He hugged me told me he loved me. Took me to the hopsidal to get my cuts checked out.
My mum?
Nothing. Hated me even more than she already did. Told me to NEVER blame it on her and never spoke to me about it. Never came to FAMILY councelling. Even told me to go and slit my wirsts at one point. Everytime wed have a row shed say "Oh going to go and slice/cutslit yourself now?"
I never wore short sleeves even after they found out untill a few weeks ago.
*reads above posts* Why are parents such horrible bastards? That said, I had a friend who cut once and immediately went crying to her mother and told her all about it. Her parents were soo lovely...
I have the questionable advantage of my mother's being partially sighted, so I'd been walking round the house for months in short sleeves or whatever and she had no idea. This bitch of a teacher in school told her though, and she didn't understand at all (she is really quite thick and has very few emotions - and you're not allowed emotions in our house in any case). She just kept going on about how I mustn't do it and certainly no one must find out, or else I'd be locked up in a mental hospital. Think my brother overheard though. :S She's never mentioned it since, but I did find a letter to a place to where I had to disclose medical conditions; she decided to add to what I'd written (ie nothing, but she didn't know that) by explaining that I'd had "one minor incident of deliberate self harm", but that this had "only happened once and never will again". There's just no comprehension in her mind. I would advise anyone NOT to let their parents have any way of knowing, even if they think it might go well...
Actually, it's made me think. I didn't cry at all, which was very unusual for me at the time, and I've just remembered that that was the first time I ever acted completely sarcastically towards my mother. And getting better at it ever since! (Y) xx
i told mum after twelve years cos i knew i needed help, took me twenty minutes to spit it out after i had sat her down and i couldnt talk i just pulled up my sleeve. she yelled, i was sobbing, she told me never to do it again and went on about how awful it was. i nerve got the never to tell dad, mum promised she wouldnt tell him but then she did. dad and i have never techincally talked about it but hes made some rude implied comments which were really triggering. and i very rarely bring it up at all with mum, just to ask for help. she still wont let me see a cousler or get meds. hoping i can be annoying enough for her to let me.
basically, i was broken.
twas the hardest thing id ever done.
Last edited by wyngednight : 30-06-2009 at 09:35 PM.
Reason: spelling :P
my school told my mum. she tried to help and asked me why and stuff, and got an appt with my gp. she also told my dad. both of them were distraught and just kept asking why but i just couldn't bring myself to talk about it. i was referred to CAMHS and they came with me to the first appt but i wouldn't say much. then, later, when my school suspended me, they took me again and i refused to go in. about a year later still, i was suspended from school again, this time for two months ('until you have a letter from a doctor saying you're fit to attend'), and my mum drove me to and from my regular appointments. they told me they loved me etc. I guess it was as good a reaction as any of us could hope for, but i have never brought it up, and eventually they assumed i was over it. they don't know i still do it. i love them though, for at least trying their very best to help, and i know they adore me.
sad and sorry to hear some people's stories - i wish it could have been better for you all. xx
I still haven't told my parents. I am 19, and only live here 4\12 months of the year so I don't know if I ever will tell them. It would only make their already stressful situation worse and break their hearts.
I hope I will be able to tell them someday?
You never know i guess.
"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
