Triggering (ED) - Mood swings! and feeling 'out of it' *TRIG!*

[pixie*lyssie]

I keep getting these mood swings, they are horrible, one minute I'm fine and looking forward to the future then the next I feel fat and I'm purging/taking laxatives and cutting myself, this happens every night. I just wish I could be normal to be honest. I dont know what's causing these mood dips (?!?)

When I say 'out of it' it's hard to explain. I get blurred vision, I can be doing something, like on the bus or on the way home from college then later I will know I've done it but I don't know the details from it and if someone were to ask me about the steps I took (e.g. step 1, step 2) I wouldn't be able to recall them, I will only know what I have mainly done. It's strange, it's like being 'a spirit' 'not myself' 'someone else'. Even when I have an appointment with my CPN or psychiatrist, I will know I've done it, then when my mum asks me what I talked about, I wont recall anything, but it's not like being forgetful. It's like 'blanking out'.

Can anyone help me, what's happening? thanks

Lyssie xx

[Cryptic.]

Hey hun.

I think the mood swings are a part of the ED, I get them all the time. Have you been diagnosed with bipolar at all though? It could be a sign of something else other than part of the ED, so it's worth checking up on. Also I think the blanking out may be worth while to discuss about with your psychiatrist and see what they think of it?

I hope you feel better hun. xx

[pixie*lyssie]

Thank you hun, yeah it's probably to do with the ED. I was once about 3 years ago, diagnoed with schizoaffective disorder which I think has something to do with mood swings but then my main diagnosis was paranoid schizophrenia. I am writing a letter to my psychiatrist about how I feel. I just need to get this down before I forget it all.

Thanks again xx

[Stellata]

The other stuff sounds like dissociation to me - maybe you're 'going away' because the mood swings are so frightening and feel out of control.