Triggering (SI/OD) - i dont know anymore

[TearsHurt]

I dont know if I can carry on not s/h and oding anymore. I want to do it so badly. I'm snapping at the slightest thing anyone is saying to me tonight. I just want to give up.
I can't cope anymore and dont know how to tell anyone.
My college mentor and boyfriend have given me plenty of chances but i keep on saying that im fine that im not harming myself that im not making myself sick anymore.
I just want to hide in my room for days. But i cant because i've got so much colege work and cos i've gotta go to residentials.
I dont know what im supposed to be doing.

[Wonderland.]

Hey hun.
Well done for trying to not SI/OD you can keep on going.
It does seem so much harder when you stop but if you get through this you can get through anything remember that.
Have you replaced your SI/OD with some way of coping more healthy?
You need to try and be honest with these people trying to suport you i know its hard but they can only help if they know somethings wrong.
If you tell them they can support you in recovery and make it easier for you to recover than doing it all on your own.
Couldnt you maybe speak to your mentor about giving you extended deadlines and giving you more support with your work, its worth a try and can make such a big difference to how your feeling.
Hope your okay, you can fight this hun believe in yourself.

Amy x

[mesmerized.]

Hey,

I'm sorry you're struggling. You're doing so well not to be hurting yourself, but I know that can just make it even harder to cope. But, you should be really proud of yourself, and you should realise that you don't have to go back to it. Is there anything that's making things so bad? You really should be honest with your mentor and your boyfriend if you can. I know it can be incredibly hard, but they'll be able to help if you can open up to them. If you can't actually say it, maybe try writing them a letter or email? It'll let them know what's going on, but it can be easier than actually having to say it.

Is there anything else that helps, now that you're not self harming? Like just distracting yourself, writing, going for a walk, anything? If you keep on trying to find other ways of coping, it will get easier and probably the need to hurt yourself will get less. Dealing with whatever's behind it is always good, if you want to get past it. But you can do this, remember that.

Take care of yourself, I'm here if you need someone xo

[Sometimes Crazy]

Hey there,

I'm sorry you're finding it so difficult to cope right now *hugs* Have you tried writing a letter to your mentor and boyfriend so that it's a little easier than "saying" it? And thinking of your username...crying does actually help you. I felt similar to you for the past few days and earlier I had a massive cry and feel ten tonnes lighter now, maybe that would help if you're bottling a lot up? What's brought you down feeling this low? Try and keep distracting yourself/using alternatives because you're doing sooo well! Take care and I'm always around for a chat if you need one,

xx