I'm just so sick of everything to do with "my mental health problems".
I've been in hospital for long stretches of time but i want to put it all behind me. I don't want to see my psych, my cpn or have the gp try and talk to me about it. I want to stop taking medication asap (without fear that things will get scary again) I want to pretend that the last three years haven't happened and i want to be able to pull my socks up and get on with my life and have everyone stop worrying about me (and making me feel guilty for them worrying about me) If this can't happen then i want to shut my eyes for a very long time. I don't think i can go on like this
Do you logically think that stopping your medication like this will make the issues go away too?
I get what you're saying about wanting to just get on with things and that's a great attitude to have but maybe using the enthusiasm in a more positive and controlled way would benefit you more in the long term.
Are you seeing a professional at the moment?
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I understand the desire to want to leave mental health problems, appointments, memories etc behind. I have it frequently too. But I agree with above that if you stop taking your medication right now it's not going to help you be without these issues.
In fact, if you cease your medication you're likely to experience more mental health issues, and in turn, need more appointments.
I feel the same as you do - I'm sick of having mental health problems, being 'the crazy one', people at the doctors surgery knowing my name. But I also acknowledge that the best way to no longer be "that person with mental health problems" is to comply with treatment.
If you can comply with treatment (take medication and go to appointments) you're likely to begin to rebuild a life that isn't surrounded by these things, your health will get better and you'll be less reliant on the appointments, and able to do other things with your life. Sure, it sucks now have to be on medication, but taking it is hopefully going to help you seriously improve your quality of life, to the point where you won't feel this unwell.
I think it was interesting where you said you want to stop taking medication ('without the fear it will get scary again'). Is that possible right now? Or is stopping medication going to mean you're not getting the treatment you need and therefore, things may very well get scary for you.
I suggest you continue with your medication until you've had a long period of wellness, and then discuss with your professionals about coming off. You may not need to be on them forever but if they can help you through now, it's worth it.
Do your professionals know how you're feeling?
The best way to put this all behind you, is to help yourself get better. Not worse. You can do it, but it's not a case of "pulling your socks up", it's a case of helping yourself and getting help from others when you need it.
I have to agree with Snow White here. I know how frustrating appointments and medication can be, but stopping medication immediately and without proper tapering and consultation can increase the risk of a bad relapse and may make things worse for you.
I think it is worth discussing how you are feeling with your care team. Would perhaps seeing them slightly less often help? To still have the support network there, but to allow you that little bit more freedom from their care?
I get the feeling you are frustrated with how you are feeling, more than feeling that you are well now and that it is time to move on. The two are very different (I have had both in the past) and this is why it is important to keep talking to your care team, and not just stop a medication or treatment plan. As Snow White says, you need to have a fair amount of time of "wellness" nehind you before you should be considering reducing meds.
Be gentle with yourself, and try not to do anything rash.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Thanks for the replies guys, it's so nice to feel that someone cares enough to respond.
I think i was having an off day when i wrote it and just felt like i needed to bury my head in the sand. You're very right in saying that doing that would lead to me being v unwell and a lot more worry and upset for my friends and relatives. Hopefully the logical side of me will be the side to stay in control!
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I just feel very up and down every day, which is unlike me as periods of ups and downs have usually lasted weeks (ups) and months (downs).
I can't pinpoint why this is but i'm just terrified that i'm going to have to try and live this way. I feel like my life is passing me by
Things like this can be managed sweetheart. It does take time but you got to perservere. Please don't give up and you need to speak up. I know there are some professionals out there that seem like crap heads but get some courage behind you and tell them straight. I've learnt over the years you gotta be straight with them.
