Join Date: Nov 2010
I am currently:  
|
Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
Just a little story, I like writing whenever I'd like to forget where I am...it will be from different viewpoints, not sure yet if I need the labeling but I wantd to be safe...I don't know what happens yet I write as I go.
Chapter 1
Matt POV(point of view)
"I want honey, I want cream,
I want sugar, I want a dream,
I said baby, you're supernatural..."
"Duuuude." Someone kept pulling my sleeve, but I brush it off. "Stop staring. Hello! Snap out of it, we have midterm in 5 hours, we need to get some sleep!" I hear my friends laughing and turn to them, without really seeing them. Hearing the music is enough. I don't need to turn to know SHE is there, dancing under the colored lights, wearing nothing but underwear, all black lace and silk. Her hair is pitch black waterfall, falling on free waves every time she turns. Her skin is sort of light, honey colored, and she has curves on all right places. Her lips are full, heartshaped and pink. Her eyes behind the mask were chocolate and full of desire. I was sure she was staring back at me for the last song. She has a small tattoo with butterfly right under her left year. "Matt, come on dude!" My friends are elbowing each other and laughing. It takes me a second to understand they are laughing at me, and I clear my throat.
"Let's go" I grab my jacket in haze and as they push me towards the exit, I turn around to get one last look, as the song beats in my hazy brain.
"Matt's in love with a stripper, Matt's in love with a stripper" I hear a chorus of laughing voices of my friends, and punch them jokingly. "Not like I wouldn't do her, she was HOT! Da**, duuude, what's wrong with you!" When I punch his arm for a second time, it's not that jokingly anymore and he squeeks from the pain. "She's a stripper, hello. Wake up!" I walk the rest of the way with hands in the pockets of my jeans, silent, as I walk rigidly, towards the university dorms. I really want to kick something right about now.
I have great friends, and for the most part I wouldn't trade them for anything. But this is something they couldn't understand. That first night after Anna dumped me I came into "Taboo"- sort of a strip-club with retro feeling to it- girls always had dancing numbers that were carefully choreographed to bring more attention, and they always had masks on. That first night I saw her, I never got close, I just watched her, but I was there every night for a month.
What had possesed me to do something so utterly stupid I couldn't understand, but since Anna left thinking seemed sort of unhealthy. I loved the bitch. Still do. So I kept coming back and watching. They could call me a fool or stalker if they knew, which was the reason I didn't tell him.
My days were passing in haze, one after another. Who cared if I graduated universtity with honors or not anyhow, my father wouldn't have been satisfied. I lost the woman I was about to marry one day, and the only person that trully understood me. Somehow I kept returning here, in that club, watching the dancer, making up stories of her imaginary life, full of adventures and heat- of course I was part of these stories too. Her life, the imaginary one anyway, was so much better than mine, and I was sure- better than her actual one. If I came close to her, the bubble would burst, the story would disappear. Doing this, watching, obsessing, I knew it wasn't healthy. I was never going to approach her.
But I had to keep seeing her. I had to go back.
|
