Hi guys,
I'm sure this has probably been asked a million times before, and I'm not convinced I'm posting in the right place, but anyway.
I've been really struggling recently and have decided to try and suspend my course for the rest of the year. To do this, I obviously have to provide some sort of explanation to my university.
I have had MH problems since before I started my course, but foolishly, it would seem now, I have never told uni anything. At the end of my first year I was really ill, but I managed to keep the MH side hidden, as all my medical notes were from the general hospital, where I spent a lot of time, and they purely detailed the physical effects of what I had done, rather than the MH implications.
Last year stuff got really bad, and I was diagnosed with BPD, but again I didn't tell uni anything, I just kind of muddled through. I was in the UK and had the support of my psych, CPN and therapist, not to mention my wonderful GP.
Now, I'm in my third year, which is a year abroad. I think I knew at the start of the course that I wouldn't be able to manage, but as I am a bit daft I steamed ahead and did it anyway. To do this I had to be discharged by my psych, go back on a long waiting list for therapy, lose my CPN, and obviously lose my regular appointment with my GP. I underestimated how hard this would be, and now I am struggling more than ever. I know that if I stay here things will get much worse.
Wow, that was long, but you get the picture. I don't know how to explain this to uni, do I tell them the whole thing? Do I explain my diagnosis? Do I explain only how I feel and what is going on now?
I am worried that, because I don't have a psych team now, or anything that I will not be able to provide medical evidence, and that this will cause a problem. Will previous teams still be able to provide the info that I need?
Basically, I guess I'm asking, if anyone has been in a similar position, and suspended a course, what did you do? Or if anyone has explained their situation to uni, how did you do it?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot.
Claire
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
I suspended my course when I started to get really unwell. Although I had some short term support through the crisis team I hadn't yet formally entered the mental health services. But evidence from my GP was ample, in fact most people with mental health issues remain in primary care instead of being passed over into secondary. So evidence should not be a problem.
I also hadn't disclosed my problems to the uni,but that also wasn't an issue. Having said that now they do know I have an awful lot of support from them. With regards to what to disclose and stuff, I'd try and find out if your university has a mental health advisor. If so having a chat to them about what you should do could help sort things out.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try and find some contact details for student support.
Hopefully things will get sorted, I'm just a bit nervous about what they will say/do.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
gah. So I sent an e-mail to uni, and they've been quite helpful, I just need to provide evidence and stuffs, which is fair enough, and shouldn't be too difficult to sort out.
My problem is that now it's actually happening, I'm not sure if I want it to. I'm all confused and not thinking straight. I thought I really wanted this, but now I'm not so sure. It's like, I know it's what I need, but I feel awful, like I'm letting myself and everyone down.
I guess what I'm asking is, how do you reconcile what is right with what is easy, and how do you deal with all the complex emotions and stuff that come with such a big decision?
Thanks
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
I kind of know how you are feeling because even though i was only at uni for a month i decided to take the rest of the year off and return next year when im hopefully feeling better in myself but i felt really torn over it! it was such a hard desicion to make and i felt like i was letting myself and everyone down and to be honest im still not even sure if it was the right thing to do three months on especially when i see peoples status updates on facebook about how they are loving it but i think it probably was for the best for me because i really need this time to get more sorted!
but anyway im just saying i understand its a really hard desicion
good luck
x
Hmmm i was sort of in a similar position a few years ago, i was 2 years into a 3 year phd and i quit. Everyone said i'd make a mistake and that i was wasting the 2 years etc and i did worry that i was doing the wrong thing but it was literally the best decision i've ever made. It was having a horrid impact on my mental health and i'm so pleased i did it. Obviously your situation is slightly different but since your only putting it on hold your not completely making a life altering decision just yet. This will give you the time to think and work out what you want to do next and get yourself in a better position MH wise. Definitely think its worth it.
I just feel like such a massive failure, like I'm wasting an opportunity that loads of people would love to have. I don't know, I'm not sure if I'll be able to cope in September or whatever. I don't know. Logically I know I can't carry on like this, but I'm scared that I'm giving in and it means I'm not fighting to get better anymore.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
