i am going to try and explain this as much as i can and hopefully someone can understand and relate to it, and if you do, how do you deal with it and what advice were you given. Basically memories, whether they are good or bad, haunt me and stop me from doing day to day things. Some examples, like when i was a kid my mother was sick because my sister was away fom home with my dads family and i missed her.. i was 12 and my mother had a nervous breakdown. She liked to walk, for hours sometimes around at night, me and my brother would go with her and it was near christmas time so it was frosty.. so now.. even if im happy i am reminded of those days and its hard for me to go out. Little things like food, tv shows, weather.. they trigger something in me and it's like i go back to that time and basically relive the emotional side of it all. I cant leave the house if it's dark outside like i had to this morning and i just could do it.. I cant do anything, everything i do has a memory.. even if it was just normal. Its confusing. i just want to know if anyone else experiences this. Everything effects me. Its draining and im so sick of feeling held back from day to day life. I cant open my blinds if its dull or windy outside i will not go out if its windy. I try to get help, i get a an appt and she acts really good for me and understands me, promises me weekly appts to get me help then today she was sick so i never had a session and now i have to wait another month. One step forward, ten back. If anyone can relate, please try to give me some insight to what i can do to help it or how you help it.
sorry for such a long post.
Last edited by Nye : 22-09-2016 at 10:11 PM.
Reason: typos
Ok I can relate, however, you have to look past the memories, and possibly even create new memories, take friends along with you to help keep you distracted, forge new memories with friends that are happy, that won't haunt you, as usually these happy memories will outweigh any previous haunting memories, sometimes I use haunting memories, to be creative, using those memories to help create a drawing of something creepy and haunting like, but also intriguing that would make others ask questions about what's going on in that scene.
I use music with headphones as a distraction, along with stress toys, like tangle's or stress balls, I often carry a yoyo in my pocket, as it provides a great distraction, along with discussing my days, and impending weeks plans with my friends, just to make general conversation to take my mind off the memories.
I can also identify with not seeing you'r counsellor/support worker, because of her being sick, and the difficulties of waiting time, as I too have gone through this with mine, is there someone else you could see and talk to whilst she's off sick, like someone else who works in the team, if she's part of a team, or a family member or friend you trust, or another service you can access somewhere else? I also sometimes contact the samaritans, their very good at talking, and are very understanding, and you don't have to be suicidal to talk to them, you can talk to them if for example you're feeling isolated, lonely, or are just struggling with things that could lead to feeling suicidal if not addressed or managed.
You're not alone, I've had lots of instances where I have triggering memories, it is normal, perhaps keep a diary and if you do something specific on days when you feel better, maybe you'll see a pattern and find things that are helpful and work for you, it sounds like you're a touch agoraphobic, or have social phobia.
I give myself tasks like getting a nice photo, as an incentive to get myself out the house, maybe you could try giving yourself some kind of incentive to leave the house?
Are there any support groups that maybe you could access that don't involve travelling too far from home? I always feel better when in a group, as I'm more focused on the group than I am the thoughts/memories :)
thank you for the reply, i appriciate it a lot. It'a funny, someone told me about tangles today too, i will try this method for sure. i've tried to make new memories in the same places or/and with food, movies and things but even good memories haunt me, which is weird. I don't really have a social group. I will try out those tangles, they seem helpful.
Do you live in the same area or house as when those things happened? If it's a possibility (which I realize it is not always a possibility) maybe you could move apartments or to the next town over or something. Again I don't know how free you are to make those decisions, but I had to move apartments after the end of some abuse because of the memories in that apartment.
