Triggering (Substance Abuse) - Im addicted to pills.

[Yellow]

im sure of it.
it started off with xanax. i got control over that.
now its hydrocodone and oxycodone.
i absolutely HATE this.
i have prescriptions for the hydros but i always run out early and have to go through withdrawal symptoms.
i hate having something having this much control over me.
sorry..just needed to put this somewhere.

[Sleepless123]

i have similar problems with pills but with over the counter medications.Its got me in debt and everything.i think i can relate to how you seem to be feeeling right now and im sorry things are so hard.Sorry i wish i had something better to say.

[blondiebear]

Should I warn you in advance that I check this forum every day? It takes one to know one and I am one so maybe i can help someone?

If you're going through withdrawal every month, that has to be totally beating up your system. Is it possible that it is not as effective as it might be because you are taking it all the time? Have you talked to your doctor about it? Think about it it when you take it and if you really need the medicine, then take it.

If you really need a medicine for an existing condition then you are not addicted. Otherwise, I would be considered addicted to antidepressants and I've been taking those for 13 years.

Don't be upset with yourself because you need medicines. You've been through hell. If you need something because the things you've been through are making your body feel that bad, use the medicines with a clear conscience.

PM me if you want to talk about this!

[Samzi]

Those are some strong medicines. I've abused them. It doesn't make you a bad person, those a easy to get hooked on even if you started out taking them as directed. I'd say talk to your doc. There are things that can help ease the withdrawal.

[Ash*]

I got oxycodone for an injury to my knee,and I kept taking them well after I was supposed to, they're a bastard to stop taking.

Have you spoken to anyone about this? To your doctor or whatever? Or just anyone really.
Why are you taking them? Might seem like a stupid question,but once you know yourself,it makes it easier to face up to stuff.

PM me if you want?

[Yellow]

i want the damn pills and i want them NOW!!!
i totally understand im an addict.
but right now....i dont care.
i have to have something to block things out. i need a break.
i have yet to find a sober way of doing that. i want the haze. i want the cloud. i want the emptiness.

[blondiebear]

I understand! There were times over the summer that I hurt so bad that all I could do is curl up in bed around my stuffed pig and shake and hurt. Then when my husband came home he would come to bed early and let me curl up next to him and hide my face against him.

For laughs, my pig's name is FredFred.

*gives you a comforting hug*

[Yellow]

ive gone and done it again!!!!
damnit.
i even got oxy's for the damn hemorrhoids and have taken them all.
im due for my period any day now which is NOT ****ing helping.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
im not having any physical withdrawal symptoms because i basically weened myself off this month.
but the mental crap is driving me mad.
im just staying busy and trying not to think about it which is near impossible.
i go to the docs tomorrow to get my script as im on "pain management". but he'll probably post date it.....so i wont be able to fill it until whatever freaking date he puts on it.
ive been sober from coke for over a year and a half and have been having using dreams AGAIN!!!! i wont go back to it. but ive blown up like a balloon. and the weight loss itself makes me want to use because it works so fast.
plus the "high" aint that bad either!!!!
im just disgusted with myself well and truly.

[blondiebear]

I've been sober for 13 years and still have drinking dreams. I've learned that it is just part of being in recovery.

Hang in there. Be good to yourself.

Love you