Triggering (SI) - trying

[WhenWillThisEnd]

How do you quit one vice without starting up another?? for 4 years, everytime i quit something, i just start up another habbit. I really wana stop cutting but im afraid that i will go back to my old ways. To me that is worse than cutting, and turning back to how i was, would put my life in more danger than cutting does. I know im just rambling on.

[smileemptysoul]

Stopping Self Harm isnt only about stopping the actual act of it. You do it for a reason, so stopping the behavior will not get rid of that 'need'. Have you tried addressing the reasons behind your SI? It's difficult to stop if you dont replace it with something... healthy.

Maybe have a plan and think it through. Decide things what you are willing to try that will be healthier for you. Whether it be taking up a hobby or sport, it's up to you. Spend time doing something you enjoy.

I understand that you don't want it to just turn into something worse, and the only that makes sense to me is to figure out what's underneath all of that. The more you understand the better you can manage that.

Can you think back and evaluate what helped you and what didnt?


Before you decide to stop:
You need a support system so make sure there is someone you can go to/call when you are having urges
You need to have an understanding of your SI and the underlining issues that caused you to engage in SI (it would be ideal to have professional help, ie counselor, therapist, psychologist etc.)
You need to want to stop
You need to do it for yourself

Article:
Preparing to Stop Self Harming

Take care

[WhenWillThisEnd]

thanx

[Isoverity]

I think things like SI, drinking, smoking, drugs etc are all just the symptoms of a problem and struggling with them usually just makes things worse. The real focus should be on the root cause and to thats negative emotions. If people didn't have angers, guilts, frustrations, anxieties etc building inside they wouldn't need to find ways to cope with the pain and emptiness of them. Young people are especially vulnerable to being upset in ways that are destructive for them. When people learn how to moderate their emotions and not fall into over-reacting a lot of problems will fix themselves. Starve a problem like SI of the emotional "itch" that makes a person want to "scratch" and the issues become more manageable. Think of a person who has a burnt finger and feels better using cold water. A lot of emotions are like a burnt finger and SI, food, smoking etc are like the cold water they use to take the sting away. Its hard to take away the coping mechanism without taking away the pain. But it can be done more easy than people think and addictions diminish as if they gave a person up instead of vice versa. Taking pills is often just another coping device and never fixes anything per se.

[blondiebear]

I've found for myself that not SIing is just the beginning. I have to learn about the emotions behind it. I don't try to moderate them. Feelings are not facts. Often though if I talk to and listen to my friends I get help. If I can not SI, I can get insight as to why I wanted to.
This is my example of how that is working for me right now. Last Thursday I had a fight with a girlfriend and wanted to SI because of the fight. Another friend told me something about anger and reassured me that I didn't have to explode and be violent towards my friend or implode and hurt myself. I come from a history of violence and that is how I was able to explain it to my other friend. Accepting that arguing will just get me in trouble, I backed off from the argument, sent a message of apology to my girlfriend and then let her know that I would need to cool off for a few days.
In the last couple of days, I figured out that my girlfriend was treating me the same way my mother does. So I didn't have to SI because I gave myself time to think about it and get to what was causing me to want to SI.

I know I've gone on a long time but I find that examples often make things clearer.
Hope this helps.

[Misunderstood.]

you're not rambling on at all, ur posts r short compared to most ;)...i think u need to address the underlying issue behind these 'habits' that u r using to cope with things and only then i think, u will be able to stop them. <33 {{hugs}} i think uv done rele well giving up the drugs tho and for now as iv said ur sticking to the 'safer' option. Take care of urself and remember im always a pm away ) there will come a time when u wont have to rely on any 'vices' at all..trust me

[WhenWillThisEnd]

thanx for all the advice