need some advice and support

[magickit]

i..well, recently ive sort of decided that, well, sort of i want to try and possibly stop sh. i dont know why but i want to. but as soon as i start thinkin about stopping the thought of it gets me down. i think its because i cant bear the thought of losing something in my life as big as that. because it relli is one of the biggest things in my life. it does rule over a lot of things and affects what i do or dont do.
another thing i need some advice or just general thoughts is self harm wen it comes to relationships. do u think u shud tell someone ur with or do u try to keep it hidden. is it better to tell them straight out early on rather trisk them finding out or telling them too late in the relationship and risking the 'didnt u trust me?' argument. i know that in ne ituation the person if they cared should stick by u, its just what has worked out better in the long run, or just generally even in short relationshops.
i dont know wether it wud be a good idea to tell my boyfriend so early on but i hate the thought of it coming up months down the line. will it ruin it or make things easier. i know this sounds petty but its a big thing for me at the moment as stopping is hard enuf as it is. wud it help if i made it more open?
i just need some help, if neone has ne similar stories to share or some advice, or nething really.
speakin to one person from here a friend of mine earlier helped but istill need some more.
thanks

[middlejustjohn]

I think its great that you are thinking about stopping sh. But don't beat yourself up if you feel unsure - it wont happen overnight because its such a huge part of your life. Its almost like its one thing you can control amongst many other things you cant control in life. If you want to try and go for it then thats great, but if you dont succeed straight away dont feel bad about it, it will take time. I have more or less managed to stop but there are still times when things get too much and I slip up.

As for relationships - well I always think its best to be honest from the start, but I cant say anything for sure because I dont know your boyfriend. Does he know that you are depressed or anything like that? If so maybe you can tell him a bit at a time and see how supportive he is.
Sorry thats not great advice though!

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk it through or anything - always happy to listen and help if I can.

Take care of yourself,
John

[*..life in pain..*]

well im so glad that you are thinking of stopping SI.it will take time and probably you won't be able to do it yourself.you need support and here is the best place!middlejustjohn is right.it won't happen overnight because its a huge part of you, and sometimes you feel that is the only think you can control.but if you want to do it, you can do it.if we want something very much, i mean if we really want it, we are able to do it.we can do anything.

as for your relationship, i think the best thing to do is tell your boyfriend about it.i mean if he really cares, he will try to help you.you won't be alone in succeeding you know what i mean?he will help you get through this.

don't worry about the thoughts.try not to think too much about it so that it won't get you down.stopping SI will be very hard but you can do it, i know you can.

sorry for not helping you.i didn't give you advice, i just wanted to let you know that i care and i want to help you.if you want, pm me, if you wanna talk about it or about anything.im struggling with the thoughts too, so you aren't alone.

[idontwantnomorescars]

hey hunny i'm glad you feel you are ready to stop sh its a huge step but i know you can do it, you will need help though.

i know it feels like you are losing a big part of you but you need to know its for the better, if you are still having these thoughts maybe you are not quite ready to stop yet, but the fact that you feel you want to stop shows that you are at least partly ready to stop.

as for telling someone youre with in a relationship, its up to you, but i personally tell them pretty early i dont want the questions about the scars and cuts etc etc but i wait a little bit till i've decided if i trust the person enough and think they will be able to handle it.


its a big step to take but i think being open about your sh with your boyfriend will show what sort of person he is and save you heartache in the long run. it might also help you as you wont feel like youre keeping things from him, also he may be able to help support you through this, i know my last serious boyfriend helped me through a lot of stuff and i'm really glad i let him in and he was glad that i trusted him enough to share something so personal, all he wanted to do was help and thats probably what your boyfriend will want to do