So, I've done a lot of therapy. 14 months of residential, 8 months of outpatient from the same program, and a few other months from different programs as well. I've been treated for anorexia, depression, anxiety, SI, and OCD, and while I was actually in treatment, it was successful. That success lasted for almost a year after I finished treatment... Then I relapsed. More therapy. More success. Then, after I was released, I relapsed again. Etc, etc. See the pattern?
Anyway, what I've figured out is that therapy works for me – as long as I'm actively doing it. And while I'm still a student, I guess that works (my school has a free counseling center, after all). But I don't want to spend the rest of my life in constant treatment. For one, I won't be able to afford it... and I also just want to be happy on my own, you know?
I'm actually relapsing pretty bad right now, and I'll most likely be getting help again soon, but I'm sick of this pattern. I don't want to keep on the way I am now (because, honestly, it's miserable). I don't want my therapist's office to be my second home, either. And I definitely do not want to take meds.
Does anyone see any more options? Any and all advice is welcomed.
Thanks for your time,
–Jayne
I've come to the realisation that I may well need meds & therapy life long, but not necessarily at the same level. At the moment I see my therapist every 2 weeks, and may drop that to once a month with the understanding that I can step it up again if needed. It has taken me 21 years to realise and accept it, but things are looking better for me than they ever have. My therapist has pointed out that she has serious asthma & takes drugs every day and sees a specialist every so often - what's the difference?
If that's what it takes for me to live my life then it's worth it - I work full-time in a job I enjoy (senior management in an NGO), am respite foster mum to 2 wonderful girls, have friends I see regularly, go sailing & riding etc.
Don't mix up meds/continual therapy with being constantly miserable and struggling, if you can get the right balance it's the opposite.
And who knows? Perhaps in future I don't need the therapy or meds, in which case I stop. But what works is what works...
Sorry, also meant to say... yes, cost is a problem. But if it's free right now and what you need then do it. face the difficulty when you reach it, not before!
I get that you don't want to be in treatment for ever, but reckon the thing to work towards is less intense treatment and more independence.
If eventually you saw a therapist every fortnight and felt mostly OK that wouldn't be so bad! It ought to be affordable - assuming you were in work and it was important to you.
Also a lot of people do stabilise more as they go through their 20's, and manage by themselves eventually. (I'm guessing your age here.)So just try to focus on your needs and what is available at the moment.
what they've told me (after residencial, etc) is that the goal is to be able to become my own therapist of sort. i'm never going to stop using the skills i've learned in therapy, or having to do exposures for my ocd, or moniter my thoughts for distortions.... but i'm eventually not going to need a therapist that i visit on a regular basis....
at first i felt kinda angry about that. because i feel like i'll never be "normal". i'm regularly going to have to check up on myself to see where i'm at, and make up exposures for myself when i start getting obsessive. and other people don't have to do that... but, i'd rather do what i have to to stay healthy. like taking insulin shots if you're diabetic. you dont have to go into the doctors all the time, but you have to stay aware and stay on top of things
Last edited by PassedExpectations : 04-09-2011 at 01:05 AM.
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this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Thanks all for the replies! I'm trying to adjust to the idea of being in therapy for a while longer... I'm not happy about it, but if it's what I need, well...
I'm debating going to the counseling center again soon. I don't really want to. But I should. Anyway, thank you again for the advice.
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