so freaking ticked at my friend and feel triggered *possibly triggering*

[Sadiew]

I just feel so crappy getting mad at my best friend. The situation is a little complicated to my frustration, so please bare with me. but, you can skip to the last two paragraphs and it should be enough basic info.

We are both back at home in our home city but we go to the same University in the same state. We made this plan that we would try to get back before New Year's Eve so we could get to a friends party but there were a few problems. First, there is another friend in our town who would be alone for most of the christmas break who is having depression problems (he had to stay for work) so my best friend wanted to go back earlier than she would have to to support him. I also want to support him, but she is his girlfriend and more important to him though I'm becoming pretty good friends with him as well. what i figured is that Michael (my other friend) could come w/ us to the party and it was cool with the host, and it would be fun to get together and celebrate. so yeah.

the second problem is that his party will be over 2 hrs away, so i was trying to find ways to get there. My mom was thinking of going there to pick up a car, so we both got airline tickets for the 31st and my mom said that she could drive me and my best friend (julie) and michael to the party. I just had to figure a ride back, cause i was gonna drink and I don't want her to know, but I thought i could get one with the host cause he studies at our university (haven't checked cause the situation probably won't happen anyway). My mom didn't want to go back that early but she was willing to do it to help me to get to the party, which was way cool of her. So, it seemed like it might happen and I was mentioning it to Julie, and several times I've asked her "do you want to go if we can?" and she would range from "totally" to just "yes," but she was genuinely interested. so, it seemed a sure deal if i could just get a ride back, and it seemed that a lot of the problems would work out, so i've been getting kind of stoked about it, cause i mean i get to do new years with my best friend and two good friends and party and drink and dance and yeah awesome. we've been planning on the party since as soon as I found out about it like a couple of months ago, so it's not like i dropped it like a bomb.

the problem is that i was talking to julie a couple of days ago and she was like "I don't really feel like going to the party." I was just thinking "......ok.... damn, but whatever, at least i can still hang out with her new year's eve" but I asked her if she was gonna hang out with just michael and she was like "yeah, just the two of us." maybe it's stupid, but that kind of hurt me. i mean, i give them space cause they have sex and obviously need room for that, and even just cause they are friends they need space, but i know she is gonna be on her period then so it's not even that. but, i also know that she might be doing it cause he wants some one-on-one time cause of his depression. i dont know the reasoning i'm just guessing. but his roommates are coming back soonish, so i do kind of get the soon-as-possible idea to it.

it just bugs me cause i feel hurt and pissed. i just think that she can have alone time with him a ton of time, it doesn't have to be new year's eve, and plus she knows i will be in town then. i don't want to go to the party without her and michael cause i only know the party boy and that will be lonely, and i'm pretty sure she knows i won't wanna go alone. plus i will have to work out plans and that's such a hassle for just me to be lonely (which will lead to me being stupid and irresponsible with drinking). also what pisses me is that my mom was only wanting to go down then cause then she could take me to the party, as she would rather wait until later, but we already bought the damn tickets at $120 each! (90 in pounds maybe?) and she wants me to stay longer now if i'm not interested in the party, which i would rather have too, cause as much fun as it would be to be alone new year's eve in my apartment.... and then i can stay longer, cause my classes start the 10th so i don't need to go that early.

so, my confusion is i'm so f*cking pissed and hurt and annoyed and feel betrayed, but i feel like i'm being selfish and inconsiderate and greedy of her time, so i'm so confused and triggered and getting depressed and anxious and paranoid. i feel that he is depressed, they need time together, i was with her alone last new year's, they have little time before the roommates come back, maybe he needs to talk to her alone, they don't have much time if they do wanna make out or have sex, etc. but, i'm pissed cause we've been planning this for so long and i've been getting stoked and she seemed ool she just drops it on me so soon beforehand that she is not gonna go, she knows i will be in town then (maybe she thinks i will hang w/ my mom), my mom did this all so she could take us, it cost $240 (and plus the cost of my new ticket, but she is not coming), we could all hang together but she wants to be with him only and gah!! i just feel so pissed and confused and evil and sh*tty....

is it ok to be angry or am i wrong? i just feel i should never be wrong cause she is really a great friend... sorry for the length too.

[Pi.R^2]

Yeah, I reckon it's OK to be angry :)
I suspect maybe she just doesn't realise that you were so set on going and stuff, but even if there's no malice on her part, it's still really tough on you, and maybe she hasn't been especially thoughtful.
Could you talk to her, and say that you're really upset that you will not be with your closest friends on New Year's Eve?

[Katiee]

As said, it's normal to feel angry. It's totally understand you feel hurt. You were all excited about going to the party, only to be let down. Could you maybe rearrange something some other time? Hope you're okay.