Hi, I'm one of the middle children within the 5 children in my family, 14 years old. My parents have been married for almost 21 years. They got married really young, and had kids really early in the marriage. Now they have five kids, including me. They've always seemed generally happy together. Not once throughout my childhood had I suspected they'd get divorced or were so unhappy.
Today my little brother and I were waking up and just about to go downstairs when we overheard my parents fighting in the kitchen, so we stayed upstairs and listened a little. Or a lot. (
Nosy, yes, I know).
My mom said how she doesn't feel the connection anymore and how whenever they do things together it's never enjoyable. She said they never miss each other. She said he always mentions how there are things wrong with her jokingly and how he thinks it's fine to say because there's nothing wrong with him. She said she's been telling him for a while now and that he knows full well that she doesn't want to be with him anymore and that she doesn't understand why he isn't listening to her and playing dumb.
They also run a company together. Never did I think we were having financial problems since we seem so well off. Then they fought about how the company is falling and how we aren't going to be able to afford this house anymore soon. Not sure whether that was true, or if it was just her excuse to get them to live in separate houses because she said that's what they needed to do. Live in separate houses away from each other.
I really don't think my dad wants to divorce. I couldn't hear him very well, but he seemed very calming. Like he was desperately trying to salvage the marriage in that moment but just didn't know what to do. I have a small feeling that my mom might be seeing someone else also. She asked at one point how he could be mad if she was with someone else when they were divorced. I also heard her drop the name AJ - A younger guy my older sister used to date. My mom is always "joking" about being a "cougar" and having "cubs", not quite sure if she was joking now though. She really likes to pretend she's much younger than she is. Texting problem, little bit of a teenage sass problem, going clubbing and drinking, talking to guys a lot younger than her and having friends younger than her. My older sister and her hang out all the time and it's like my mom thinks my sisters friends are her friends. Including the guys. She always ?"jokingly"? asks me who I'd live with if they got divorced, or if I'd be mad or accepting if something were to happen to my dad (God forbid) or if they were to get divorced and she moved in with a younger guy. She always tells me not to get married and that it's like a business deal. Also not sure if she's joking or not.
The weird thing is they never seem to have problems. They act completely fine around us. Not lovey dovey or anything, but fine. Happy I guess. I've only heard them fight very few times, but today was the worst. We pretended we didn't hear it, went downstairs when it was safe, and they acted once again. Individually of course. My dad left to hockey with my brother, came back for a while, and left again. Not sure when he came home, not even sure if he has yet. Haven't seen him since then. My mom just did her own thing. Acted as if everything was normal. My brother told me yesterday they had a counselor come and that he overheard them saying it just wasn't working out. I think they fight in secret, when we aren't listening or aren't there. My mom just seemed so unhappy with the marriage with the things she was saying in that fight... It was a lot to take in for the first time. I cried quite a bit today. I just can't imagine my parents divorcing. I've always prided myself on being one of the smaller ratio of kids who have still married parents. Our family has always been more or less happy. I just can't imagine that one day we might not live here, that I might have to see both my parents and family members individually, that I'll have to choose between them, that we'll never have those family trips together anymore or fun times together like that. I don't want to believe it. I'd like to believe this is just a rough patch, and that they'll be happy together again, but I'm just not sure. I don't know what to do or what to think. Now that I think about it, I can't really ask a question with this. All I can really ask is what to do or what this all means. I'm just really lost and hurt by what my mom said. Hurt a lot to listen to that fight, listen to them cry, and listen to my dad try to hold it all together. Do you think they're really going to get a divorce? Honest answers are fine, I've kind of learned to expect the worst and appreciate when you get better than that. I do believe there is a good side to everything, so I'm sure there would be if they really did get divorced... Knock on wood. Any help would be so much appreciated. Sorry it's so lengthy.
