First, it's excellent that you've gone weeks without harming. That's certainly not easy to do, especially without support, and you deserve congratulations! *hugs*
It's incredibly difficult to open up to a doctor, or even to someone you trust well, but it would really benefit you to be open with her--even if you aren't comfortable talking about the SI, at least mention that you're having trouble sleeping as well as loss of appetite and low moods. Tell her it's changed the quality of your life, and that it's been persistent. Most doctors are great, but sometimes they do need explicit, specific complaints before they can see that your suffering is serious, and you need a boost from them. Another thing: if you've gotten used to hiding things, and you're good enough to fool the people in your daily life, you may also be fooling her. That's not your fault; after all, you only do what you feel you must. *hug* But doctors see lies and equivocations every day; they understand that illness is frightening, and that a majority of people aren't comfortable talking about what's gone wrong. Your doctor shouldn't hold that against you.
If it helps you to know, I have felt the way you describe feeling: low moods, loss of appetite, profound emotional exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm, insomnia. Please do not feel you have to hide these feelings; they're legitimate, and if they're affecting your life, you're completely entitled to seek help getting yourself better. Or, if it would help you to have an objective ear, you'd be more than welcome to send me a message anytime. I'm glad to listen.
Please take care, and stay safe.
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