why does everyone take advantage of me?

[jingle]

Never mind all the shit that's going on in my life and how depressed I've felt for the past six months, without really talking about it.
But this is what's really getting to me now and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
First of all. A friend of a friend was traveling through my city and had his wallet stolen. Needed somewhere to stay till he got his new cards sent here from overseas, and my friend is between apartments so I volunteered. It went well at first. But now it's been three weeks. And he's been eating my food. And completely crossing boundaries, like inviting people over without asking me. And I recently read a message he left open on my computer saying that he thinks I'm the most annoying person on the planet and he doesn't know how my boyfriend can stand to live with me... so I feel pretty betrayed.
In addition to that, my boyfriend seems like lately he doesn't give a shit about me. I've asked him to stop having friends over late when I have to work in the morning. Guess how many guys there are in my living room? Making sexist jokes. And sometimes they even make digs at me and he doesn't say anything. I just don't get it. He apologizes, and then it happens again. Otherwise, he's perfect, and I can't leave him because then I'll fall apart completely, but I don't understand why he can't get it in his head that I LIVE HERE TOO. In fact, I've been paying rent the past few months so it's pretty much MY apartment. He acts like I'm his MOTHER, he came into the room a few minutes ago and I'm clearly upset, and I said, "If you want to talk, please close the door, they're listening," and he just... left the room.
My mental health has been putting a strain on our relationship and I don't know if he's just had it or what.
I feel really trapped in my own home and I have nowhere to go. I hate my job. My friends are strangely busy lately and seem to think it's appropriate to cancel plans an hour before they're supposed to happen over and over.
Every day things get worse and worse. Either I'm here, feeling like no one wants me here or respects me, or I'm at work... feeling disrespected and like I'm wasting my life. I have no safe zone. I don't see any end in sight. This is my life. And I hate it.
I'm terrified to admit how close I am to doing something drastic. I just feel like I'm here for people to take take take from and I never get ANYTHING back. There's not much left of me.
Anyway.
I just needed to know someone was reading.

[MissCobain]

I'm reading dear, I'm so sorry =(..
I don't know how to help you, but I hope you can find something in your life, an escape. I like to write and draw, and watch obscure movies, but yours could be anything you like, anything that gives you a little bit of purpose, like collecting keys or starting a scrap book, or anything thats not self destructive.
Good luck xxx

[Catharsis]

I'm sorry things are so hard for you. It sounds like you've put up with alot for a very long time. *offer hugs*
I agree with MissCobain. Finding a healthy escape can be amazing. Something you enjoy doing & putting time aside for yourself everday. Or maybe take some time off, from everything to sort of 'evaluate' where you want to go with your life. It can be tough to turn things around. But this is your life. If you don't like what's going on, ultimatly you have the power to change. Speak to the people around you, express yourself to them and explore how the situations can be changed/helped.
I hope things start to improve :)
xx

[Wandering]

Can I give you a piece of advice? I don't mean it in a harsh way. The title of your thread caught my eye and I felt compelled to pass on the one and only truely universal, overall and truely truely true thing I've ever learned..

People take advantage of you (not just you personally, me, all vulnerable/just plain nice people) because you let them.

Make this your mantra, remind yourself of it every day.
Stay strong.

Wandz x