how can my managers help me? suggestions needed please
A customer made a complaint about me at work.
I had to have a meeting with my managers about it this afternoon.
I cried.
I'm ashamed to say that I went into child mode.
My managers handled it really well, the whole thing. They get 'top marks'.
And the reality is that the complaint is about something that's not, like, huge. What I said sounded a certain way, when basically I was feeling really vulnerable and the customer came across to me in a certain way and I responded 'in kind'. Which isn't good customer service, but.
What I can see from this, and from other things that have happened recently, is that I have a tendency to only be nice to people when they're nice to me, when I feel respected and treated warmly and kindly. [I sound like such a kid...]
It's like I can only manifest behaviours when they're mirrored to me. At least when I'm in certain states of mind. [I can be naturally natural and kind etc, just not when I'm under stress and vulnerable.]
I feel such a dysfunctional mess.
My managers asked me how they can help me. I really don't know, can't think.
I know I need to take more responsibility for myself - speak up when I feel overwhelmed and need to take some time out etc.
But beyond that, I'm stuck. Suggestions?
You're really hard on yourself sometimes, aren't you! My brother works for a bookies and he told me the other day of his idea of customer service. He had a difficult customer to deal with on the phone and my brother literally said "Sir, you're an idiot". And my brother doesn't care. It feels like the end of the world, sometimes, when you feel that younger part come to the fore and the way you feel others may see it. But it isn't, because you're human, and we all feel cross and irritable at times. You can't be nice to everyone all the time. If they're rubbish with you, occasionally you're likely to respond the same.
Maybe, if this only happens sometimes, you could accept in yourself that actually it's pretty normal to have an off day. I'm not sure what to suggest re: your managers. xxx
I mean youve got to be superhuman to be nice to all customers all the time. Plus everybody who works with the public gets complained about at some point during their career. What you described about only being nice to those whom are nice to you i think is true of everybody to a certain degree.
However i think its fantastic your managers are being so helpful.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Yes, I do have this tendency to be hard on myself. It and I go back a long way...
Explored it all in some depth in therapy this afternoon, and I feel slightly better about it and myself now.
The thing is, about 'how can my managers help me', me speaking up and getting out of a potentially tricky situation by delegating or such when I'm feeling ropey... presupposes there's my 'right mind' there to advocate for me. The thing is that when I'm in the *Other* state of mind, not much of me is there at all for me to intervene and divert the expression of my shadowy side.
I guess if I'm having a bad day/afternoon or such, I need to say when I get in to work. Even so, similar applies, plus still a whole heap of SHAME.
I'll keep pondering, but if anyone has any thoughts, they'd be welcome too.
I think Battering Ram has good advice. Make a system so you can let your managers know when something's wrong. Then maybe they can have someone else deal with customers for a while. I've worked customer service too, and it is hard. People can be really rude and you're expected to just take it. *hugs* so don't be too hard on yourself. It's great that your managers want to work with you though. So let them know when you're feeling bad so you don't get to the point where customers are complaining (though it may be unfair).
