This last week has possibly been one of the hardest ones ever. Not only with the events that I've been posting about here, but stuff at home & memories coming up stuff too.
Do you know what?
I don't care. It's in the past. Everything that has happened is in the past and it's up to me to carve out a better future for myself.
I hate the way I look at times, & sometimes I want to dress differently, but I don't have the clothes for it, so today I'm going into town to take back some stuff I haven't ever worn & exchange it for monies so I can go and buy some stuff that I look FABULOUS DARLING in. I'm going to get a real "I look great" outfit. I don't care if it's too dressy for casual wear or too casual for night wear or whatever, it's going to be something that I look and feel great in.
I shall be posting pictures, and you can all tell me how fantastic I am ;)
I'm also starting to job hunt for when I go back to Southampton, and I will not let my fear of talking to strange people on the phone get in the way of that. I'm going to ask the right people for references, even though I'm scared I won't get them, because if you don't ask you don't get anyway.
I'm eating healthily too, and exercising more. I'm starting to feel a confidence about myself that I haven't felt in ages. I'm having less and less of the days where I wake up and don't want to get out of bed, and more of the days where I wake up and think "**** yes, let's go girl" [well, something like that, anyway!].
& the real clincher for me was this.
I was sitting outside work, having been on the phone to my ex-boyfriend/best friend for probably an hour. I'd been crying my eyes out and was feeling generally crap.
I sparked up a ciggie, dried my eyes and then the sun came out. And it was just one of those perfect moments where you just KNOW you're going to be okay.
Yes, I will still have my bad days and stuff, but I have therapy nearly sorted out for when I'm back in Southampton, which is good, and will help me get through those. I know I need to sort out a lot of stuff in my head, but this time I also know I can do it.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Omg proud of you so much Chels, I know I don't know much about your situation but I'm proud you have realised this. Good luck with the job hunt and have fun getting new Clothes!!!! Can't wait to see pics *hugs*
When you do have bad days, come back and talk to us please?
This is so awesome go hear! You go girl!
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
proud of you :)
you should like print this out, or save it in a word doc on your computer so if you're feeling down you can look at it *nod*
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
