I have had the misfortune of befriending a total jerk. For the past 2 years, I've been a faithful doormat and did whatever she said and fed her compliments and didn't mind her hugely conceited attitude. I must also add that she is an extreme liar. She would lie about any little thing to make herself look good, or to get attention. And as weird as it is, me and her used to be best friends. Until recently, I've started to break off from her, and she's responded rather violently. She used to physically hurt me sometimes, but we'd always laugh it off ad such. One particular situation (which I'd rather not recount) made me attempt to cut her out of my life for good. I blocked her on Facebook and barely responded to her texts. I forgave her for what she did, but I sure as hell didn't wanna be friends, so I just kept contact to a minimum.
Today, she finally realized that blocked her on Facebook. I didn't see the big deal in this, since I mostly use my Facebook to post my art. But to her, it was the ultimate insult. She sent me multiple texts that were rather brutal ): very brutal actually. I honestly tried to extinguish it. I didn't fight back, because I hate arguing. I don't know why it bothered me so much D: my heart is still pounding right now. The thing that really upset me was the fact that she called me "easy" and other choice words just because my friend forced himself on me a few years back. I can't believe she would say something like that. Sorry if this sounds like rambling. Blahh. I'm tearing up right now. And very triggered as well. Any advice on how to handle this would be amazing right now ): thank you everyone!
I've been through this before, minus the violent part. My advice would be to cut her completely out of your life. I know it will be hard especially since she reacted so badly when she realized you blocked her on facebook... If it gets too bad between the two of you, you should tell someone about it.
Hi there.
Sorry to hear you're going through this rough time right now.
It's horrible when someone who used to be your friend turns on you, and she had no right to say those things about you.
I'd have to agree with the above; let it lie and cut her out of your life. You're obviously the bigger person here and she isn't worth your time. If you can, block her number and keep her blocked on facebook - in the end she will get the message. If anything else happens report it to the correct people - i.e. if it's on facebook; report it to them. Anything threatening or violent; to the police if you have to.
Take care, and if you ever want to talk, my PM box is always open.
x Katie x
i think that what others have said about blocking her completely is right on. if you have other friends in common, perhaps you could explain some of the situation so that they know what is going on (so you don't both get invited to something etc.) but let them know that you still want to be friends with them, if that is the case.
cutting contact or losing a relationship with anyone who has had a significant influence (positive or negative) on your life can be difficult. do you have others that you can lean on right now? it might be good to find something to fill the time that you would've spent together in the past. having idle time often lets your mind drift back to the harsher emotions.
i also hate arguing, so i know what you mean when you said that you didn't fight back so as to avoid a confrontation. sometimes (lots of times actually) you really do have to stand up for yourself. it hopefully will make it clear to her that while you let her walk all over you in the past, the situation is different now, and that you're going to make sure to assert your rights.
with the "easy" thing, it sounds like she is trying to say anything that will hurt you. possibly she is thinking that she can make you feel bad enough about yourself that you give in and unblock her, be her "friend" again, and let her have some control over you back. don't let her suck you back in. you deserve way better treatment than she has given you in the past and is likely to give you in the future. and you totally will be able to make other, much better, friends who won't take advantage of you.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Text her back giving her a farewell. If she sends another hostile message, tell her you will contact authorities if it does not stop. And block her. You should never keep a freind like that.
Im a girl from the USA. I usually have a skinny body and a big head with puffy cheeks, my heads shaped like ball. :P:P:P:P Sometimes I wear no make and other times I put on to much and prance around with flashy boots. Self described Butthead.♥
Thanks for the responses everyone (: it feels great to get some advice. I've cut her out in as many ways possible, and as long as she doesn't interfere with me in anyway then I don't think she'll be a problem anymore. One thing I'm concerned about is she'd be the type to spread roumors about me, but it hasn't affected me yet so I'm not going to worry about it (: again, thanks everyone. And iffen she does come back and is hostile, I think I just might contact the authorities. Thankssss everyone.
I just wanted to add that I definitely think you're doing the right thing in cutting this girl out of your life. It can be hard to break contact when you've been close friends with someone but it doesn't sound like your relationship was a very healthy one, especially if it had turned physically violent at times. The very fact that she's reacted so badly to being deleted from your facebook to the point that she's sending abusive text messages shows that she doesn't really respect you or your friendship very much at all.
Hopefully after the first round of messages, she's left you alone but if she does continue harassing you then make sure you contact the authorities; due to a lot of media interest over the past couple of years, the police take any form of abuse via text message very seriously. It would be pretty upsetting if she were to start spreading rumors about you but your true friends will know that these rumors are not true, and if anyone ever asks you about it then you are always able to put them straight. I know this can't undo all the damage that a rumor can cause but just be comforted by the fact that the people who truly matter will always ask you about it before believing a rumor they hear. Everyone else doesn't matter. Just try not to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she's upset you, because that's what she wants. You've remained calm and dignified throughout this whole situation and that says a lot about what a good person you are.
I wanted to remember this forever, you, us. I wanted to remember this and I was scared I wouldn’t, so I took a knife and I carved you into my arm and at night I’d put it under my head to keep you close. Your heartbeat next to mine, your name against my eyes. I carved you into my skin so you’d never leave and now I can’t get rid of you no matter how hard I try.
