Telling the doctors that you're starting to feel worse again
Not sure whether this is best suited here or in serious discussion and advice.
I've been seeing an Early Intervention team since July and after a few hiccups and slip ups managed to settle on a high dose of quetiapine (seroquel) which for a while has worked pretty well in controlling the voices as well as the visual stuff like the shadows I used to see.
I last saw my psychiatrist, CPN and support worker a couple of weeks ago where they remarked on how well I was doing and we arranged a discharge date to work towards early in 2011 where I'll be referred back to GP services. As a part of this they decided it was time to reduce my medication and start talking based therapies. But the problem is I've been feeling worse again with my medication being reduced, I've got another reduction later this week and I'm worried I'm starting to slip.
I'm really struggling to come up with a way of telling them about it. On the one hand I know medication is helpful but it leaves me feeling so drained so my gut reaction it to try and grab a hold of the reductions no matter what even though it may lead to me getting worse.
I don't know how to tell them I'm feeling worse again and feel the shadows closing in around me again. Everything was going well and now it feels like it was all for nothing and it's just a disappointment Just not sure how they'll react either to me telling them.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
As far as you being worried to tell them you feel you're slipping - don't be! They are there to help you and would definitely want to know. They won't be disappointed or anything like that. In fact, I'm sure they'd be much more upset if they knew you weren't being completely honest with them. They are there to help you and support you but you must tell them if things aren't working.
In terms of telling them, perhaps you could print off what you posted, or a version of it? I find writing things down really helpful. Just an idea.
Please, be honest with them. I can understand why you'd want the quetiapine reduced (I'm on it too and it sedates me terribly too), but a bit of sleepiness is a far better option that you becoming seriously unwell again.
Best of luck and take care.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
telling them would be best, its what they're there for.
maybe you could see if you could gradually switch to the talk based therapy. like start it a little when you start going lower on your meds, and as you go lower more and more, increase the other therapy. that way you can keep closer to the same amount of support
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I don't see how the talking therapies are supposed to help with the hearing voices I really don't. I'm worried that they're playing with my medication to see how low they can put it before they need to intervene again. But I'm not sure whether that's too paranoid to be thinking that or whether that's the likely truth?
I'm really stuck. On the one hand I want to be off quetiapine as fast as I can because I hate it now, but on the other I don't want to be ill. I suspect they'll want to continue reducing it even if I say something, just to see how far they can push it.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Reducing medication should be a decision which is taken together. Be honest with them, tell them what you want, and see what they decide.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Like others, i would suggest letting the EIT know. If they know, they will be able to 'nip it in the bud' before things get too out of hand. They won't know unless you tell them your concerns, and i think they will be pleased that youve been able to be open with them about how you're feeling :)
Talking therapies help get feelings, frustrations, anger out, and you can share really personal emotions with someone else, which should hopefully make your head feel a bit lighter. And maybe reduce the chances of the voices to start? Does something imparticular trigger them? Maybe thats what its good to discuss-the triggers, so you know how best to deal with them before they get too bad, and turn into unbearable 'symptoms'.
I think you need to reduce the meds very gradually (and id have thought thats what EIT would do too) unless you were having really bad side effects. But please be honest with your MH professionals-they can help.
Saw the doctor but I couldn't tell him anything, felt like my throat was closing up and all I could mutter was 'I cant sleep'. Haven't slept at all for a few days now, but he said he'd give me some sleeping pills for a few days.
When he left I just entered self destruct mode, couldn't breathe, head pounding with images of disfigured faces looking at me, looking through me, just staring at me with a gaze that never goes away. When I close my eyes they're burned onto the inside of my eyelids. Shaking on the floor in a heap whilst parents say they're not real. But they are real, more real than reality itself. Still staring now vulgar faces. When I look outside they're in garden in the pond, looking up at me staring through my window. When I look at the walls and floor they're here too just staring breaking me down.
I just wish I could say to the doctors 'help', but they can't help can they? Because they always tell you they're not real... come back to reality, but where is does reality even begin I don't even know any more. I try so hard to tell others here, keep on struggling you can do it. But I'm liar aren't I? How can I dish out false hope like that? It makes me a horrible person.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Rhuben, I've got to be honest here - you need the meds. I've tried loads of times to come off the meds and I've either ended up in hospital or with the police. Can you write a note to your doctor saying everything that's going on? And then hand it over? Please, don't let this go any further, call them up, give them the letter, whatever works best, and get the meds back asap
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I know it can be so frustrating when you want to say everything thats going on in your head and you just cant get the words out. Would you be able to write a letter and give it to your CPN instead?
Not being able to sleep is not good when you get scary symptoms like that, as it makes them worse. I hope the sleeping pills help you, you need some way to escape this horrid nightmare.
That sounds so terrifying. I know it is so hard when people telling you the things you are seeing arent real, as they are real for you. And it can make you feel more alone. What helps you when you having these visual images? Have you tried blinking really rapidly, to break up the images? Ive heard that helps some people.
You're definitely not a horrible person. you're trying to help others, and that makes you a very good person. Its not always easy to take our own advice.
Please keep reaching out for help. Can you keep yourself around your family to keep you distracted and not alone?
Rhuben I'm so sorry you're struggling. I sometimes have trouble getting the words out too. It helps me if I write something down to give to the doctor, just in case I can't speak properly. Perhaps that's something you could consider?
I know how frightening it can be when you are seeing things which for you are completely real, yet everybody else tells you they are not. It's almost a double fear - fear of the images themselves, and fear because you alone are experiencing them. It does sound to me like you need medication, too. Anything which can stop these frightening figures is surely a good thing?
Please take care. I'm worried about you.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Sorry it's taken a few days to reply. Feeling a bit all over the place.
Oly - I just can't do it any more the meds. I've come off them cold turkey, I know this is risky but I just have to do it because I can't stand them any more. The way they control my mind and make me feel so drained constantly. I'm going to tell them when I see them next week that I've stopped for good.
Sarah - I'm going to write a letter I think. I can't keep doing this telling the cpn and doctor I'm ok I can handle it when I can't. I always clam up when I'm with them, it's easier to pass things off rather than open up to them. The sleeping pills aren't working at all really, I don't even feel drowsy. I've never heard of the blinking thing, I might try it though.
Mikey - I might try writing a letter, I sometimes keep a diary but it's not very frequent. I guess I could copy some stuff from that. It's frustrating because I know I need the medication, but I just can't force myself to keep taking it any more. I guess you are right it is a double fear, fear of them and fear of experiencing alone. Being RYL helps though because then I know I'm not alone, there are others that see this stuff too.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
I am very concerned about you. Please write a letter to your CPN and be completely honest, because you don't want to end up in hospital or something similar. Please write the letter. Best of luck and wishes, Oly
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I agree with oly, you should write a letter to your cpn telling them everything you've said here. Yes the meds might be draining and i can definately relate to that, but they may have been the only thing keeping you stable and you don't want to suffer rebound symptoms from suddenly stiopping the meds....
Just not sure how they'll react either to me telling them.
